The TwiSkul Saga, A Twilight Spoof With Valduggery
by Sabrina Sparrow
Summary: What's a girl to do when she's bored? She takes her fave book - Skulduggery Pleanant - and a film that is easy to poke harmless fun at - Twilight - and she combines them! Add in an extra helping of Valduggery, and bada-bing-bada-boom! The TwiSkul Saga!
1. Goodbye and Hello

**What's a girl to do when she's bored? She takes her fave book (Skulduggery Pleanant) and a film that is easy to poke harmless fun at (Twilight) and she combines them! Add in an extra helping of Valduggery, and bada-bing bada-boom! The TwiSkull Saga!**

**Hello, all! My name is Sabrina Sparrow, and this is my fifth story on fanfiction. I specialise in Valduggery... well, Valduggery is pretty much all I write! I love Valduggery! It RULES! :D My other stories are: "Valduggery Drabbles friendshipromance", "Valduggery Songfic Friendshipromance", "His Scars run deep", and "Valduggery Letters friendshipromance" ... or at least I think they are, anyway. I'm pretty sure. Like 90% ;)**

**So! Let me just run this by you quickly, for you Twilght lovers out there. I am NOT making fun of Twilght. I am a Twlight fan myself - even though I'm not too keen on Bella. Sure, I'm going to put scenes in here that are stupid, overly cheesy, mean to the characters, and just down-right CAMP! But It's just a joke. Whether you like Twilight or not, doesn't really matter with this story. Skulduggery Pleasant is where it's at :D**

**(Obviously I do not own Twilight or Skuldugery Pleasant... Just saying!)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Valkyrie Cain sighed as she said goodbye to her mother at the airport. Her parents had divorced one she'd turned seventeen and for six months she had been living with her mother. However, now it was time to decide.<p>

She _was_ going to chose to live with her mother, in her own home's comfort with her own bedroom and her own comfy double bed. Then two weeks ago she had received the saddest and most self pitying of all letters from her dad who had moved to Forks, Washington, and she couldn't help but feel riddled with guilt.

This was one of the reasons why Valkyrie was leaving. She was doing this to help her dad.

The other reason was because her parents had found out about magic last year when the toxic twins had blabbed. Of course, they didn't believe her at first, then she summoned a flame in her hand and they had no choice but to accept the truth. A few months after that were when her parents had split. She had this horrible feeling she was the reason for the end of their marriage.

They used to argue all the time about her safety, her mother saying she was too young to do what she had to do, her father saying she was old enough to make her own decisions.

Naturally, they hated Skulduggery too. They felt that he was a bad influence on her, and didn't want her to see him anymore. There was something about a living skeleton that they just really didn't trust.

And so, Skulduggery had left her. Packed up his bags and left for good. He had hugged her goodbye, and just like that she had lost her best friend. This was the other reason why she was leaving Haggard. It just held too many sad memories for her nowadays.

"You, don't have to leave, Stephanie." Her mum hugged her daughter tightly. Her and her father had agreed to keep calling her Stephanie, and that was the way she liked it. All mortals only knew her as Stephanie Edgley. Nothing else.

"I know I don't, mum. I'm choosing to."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm going to miss you." She held her daughter at arm's length, as if to get a good last look at her.

Valkyrie smiled. "I know you will. I'll miss you too."

Over the PA in the airport, a monotonous tone announced "This is a message to all passengers boarding the flight 906 KDL, flight to Forks, Washington, your gate is now open. Please can all passengers make their way to gate nineteen, thank you. I repeat: all passengers boarding the flight 906 KDL, flight to Forks, Washington, your gate is now open. Please can all passengers make their way to gate nineteen, thank you."

Valkyrie sighed. "That's me. Bye mum, I'll call you when I'm at dad's house."

"Okay, love."

She hugged her mum again. "I love you."

"I love you too, Steph."

Valkyrie pulled away from her mother and picked up her suitcase. It was a very old one that had to be held by the handle and you carry it around – like an oversized briefcase. She sent her mum a warm smile before she turned and made her way to the gate.

"Have fun!" Her mum called after her. "Go easy on the mag– um – the _you know what." _

Valkyrie looked at her mother over her shoulder – knowing she was talking about the magic – and grinned. She and shouted back. "Don't worry, I will!"

The plane touched down in Forks, Washington, and the weather there was no better than back at Haggard. Her first port of call, text her mother. She walked through the arrivals, sending her mum the cheeriest text message she could manage, despite how utterly homesick she already was.

_Hi Mum!_

_Just arrived, waiting for Dad to pick me up._

_Loving it here already, everyone has the coolest American accents!_

_Hoping to bump into Will Smith ;)_

_I'll email you when I'm settled in._

_Please don't worry about me, I'm absolutely fine!_

_Lots of love, Steph _

_xoxo_

She knew that would make her mum smile.

Valkyrie stood outside of the North terminal of the airport and waited for her dad. A loud, roar sounded at the other side of the road, followed by a series of horrendous horn honks.

She spotted the monstrosity immediately. Sitting across the road was a beat up old truck, _ancient_, with red pain flecking off it.

Oh, Dear God.

Was that what he was driving around in now? She saw her dad waving at her from the driver's seat, and she knew it was too late to chicken out now. She forced a smile onto her face, and walked confidently over to the truck. She got inside, slinging her bags on into the back seat.

"Steph!" Her dad beamed, pulling her forward so she could plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Hey, dad." She smiled back at him. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise, kiddo. It has been too long since I saw you last."

"Only six months." Valkyrie frowned, doing up her seat belt.

Her dad put the truck in gear, and they proceeded to cough and splutter down the road. "In dad years, that's like a decade, Val."

She snapped he head round to look at him. "What did you just call me?"

"I'm sorry?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You just called me Val." She said quietly. "You're not supposed to call me that anymore, dad. The whole reason I moved here was so that I could leave that part of me behind." _That's the whole reason why everything is ruined now, _she added in her mind.

"I'm sorry, Steph." He apologised. "It's just that I've been used to hearing it lately."

"What?" She arched both eyebrows this time.

"Um, nothing…"

"What was all that about, dad?"

"Nothing of too great importance."

"Tell me, Dad. Now."

He sighed. "You will find out soon enough, please just drop it for now, sweetheart."

"But–"

"Steph!" He said sternly. "I said, drop it, please!"

She sighed. "Fine."

A few minutes of silence passed before Valkyrie's dad patted the dashboard. "So what do you think of this baby?"

_It's a crap shack! _She shrugged. "It's fine, a little beat up I guess. Why?"

"It's your new car." He grinned at her.

All colour drained from her face. "What?"

"I bought this especially for you. You mum said you passed your driving test, so I applied for your provisional licence over here." He pulled something out of his shirt pocket and dropped the licence in her lap. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

"It was my birthday four months ago, dad."

"Yeah, sorry it's a little late, pumpkin."

"That's not the point dad. The point is, I didn't _ask_ you to buy me this!"

His face fell. "You don't like it?"

She didn't want to hurt his feelings. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She pulled a pretend smile onto her face. "No, dad, I love it. _Really_, I do. I just meant that..." She wracked her brains for something to say. "...you shouldn't be spending so much money on me." She finished off, feeling happy with her 'spin on the truth'

He laughed and ruffled her hair. "If I can't spoil my little princess, who can I spoil, right?"

She smiled at him before turning to look away. She looked out of the window, and the smile dropped instantly. _Touché_, she thought miserably.

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><p><strong>So, I really hope you liked it m'dears! Make sure you let me know your thoughts!<strong>

**Check out my other stories if you want to :)**

**I'll update soon!  
><strong>

**Laters Taters!**

**xoxo**


	2. An Old Friend

**Okay, so by now, you've probably guessed that although this is a Twilight Spoof, it is not exact as i need to feed te Valduggery nto it somewhere. But I like to think that it's following the Twilght path roughly ;)**

**Here is chapter 2! i hope you like it!**

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><p>Valkyrie dumped her suitcase on her bed unenthusiastically. She'd never stayed with her dad in his new house before, and she'd certainly not expected to have her own room. But that didn't mean that she wanted to be here anymore than usual.<p>

She was just beginning to unpack her suitcase when she heard her dad call her from outside. She frowned, walking over to her window, and looked through it. When she saw the familiar gleaming, black Bentley outside on the drive she had to struggle to stay standing on her own two feet.

She saw her dad, waving up at her, an innocent grin on his face as he stood by a handsome man with shaggy black hair, dazzling blue eyes, high cheekbones and a square jaw, all dressed up in a remarkably tailored, dark blue, pin striped suit.

Skulduggery waved at her too, a quirky smile on his waxy lips.

"You sneaky little..." Valkyrie trailed off.

She sprinted out of her bedroom, practically flew down the stairs, and flung herself out of the front door.

"Steph!" Her dad smiled, broadly. "Look who is here!"

Valkyrie pushed past her dad and headed straight for Skulduggery.

Skulduggery was grinning at her. "Hello, Valkyrie."

"What are you doing here?" She hissed.

"I was in the neighbourhood and I just decided to pop in and see how my good buddy Des was doing. However, running into you is an added bonus, I must say."

Valkyrie blinked. "What? '_In the neighbourhood_'? Just _'pooping by'?_ This is where you ran away to? Forks, Washington?"

"Yes. Well, no, not exactly. I live on the reservation over at La Push."

"WHAT?" she spun round to face her dad. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

Her dad shrugged. "I just thought you'd like the surprise."

Before she could respond, she was interrupted by another familiar, husky voice behind her. She spun round on her heel and saw Ghastly Bespoke.

"Desmondo!" Ghastly boomed.

"G-man!" He bellowed back.

He darted over to Ghastly and enveloped him in what could only be called a 'manly hug'.

"You okay, Des?" Ghastly asked.

"I'm stellar, G. Just stellar."

"Nice. Nice stuff."

Valkyrie held her hands up in the air. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! _Desmondo? G-man?_ What the Hell is going on here?"

Her dad looked at her. "Honey, I'm just making some new friends."

"But, dad... these are my friends. No, strike that, these are my _co-workers_. These people are," she lowered her voice, "not strictly human!" She pointed at Skulduggery. "Especially him! Even when he _has_ got that façade on!"

"Oh, come now, Valkyrie." Skulduggery gave her a dazzling smile. "You're not still mad at me for leaving are you?"

"No. No, I'm not mad."

"Oh, good."

"I'M FURIOUS!"

Ghastly put a hand on Desmond's shoulder and steered him away from Valkyrie and Skulduggery, leaving them to their argument.

"Come on, Des, let's see if you can remember those wrestling moves I taught you." Ghastly grinned.

Desmond laughed. "You're on, G."

When they were gone, Valkyrie continued to glare at Skulduggery.

She shook her head, disapprovingly. "I can't believe you came here."

"I came to La Push, technically."

"Whatever! I wanna know why you came here! I wanna know why, out of everywhere you could go, you decided to live in the same state as my dad! _As me!_"

"Because there are some reports of weird things happening around here." He paused. "Animal attacks and such like."

She shook her head. "No. No way. I don't buy it. You could have sent anyone out here to keep an eye on an animal attack case. Why did _you_ come out here?"

His smile almost slipped off his face, showing just the slightest him of sadness. "I missed you." He whispered.

She shook her head. "You left me. You're the Best Friend with some apologising to do. Not me."

"I got you a car!" He whinged. "Isn't that enough of an apology?"

Valkyrie's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "My dad bought the truck off _you_?"

"Yeah, I got it just for you. That's how much you mean to me."

At that point the bumper of the van fell off, clattering against the ground. An awkward silence followed.

"It may need a bit of a tune up." He muttered.

She sighed. "Goodbye, Skulduggery."

She went to go back inside but he stopped her. "Valkyrie, don't go."

"Why should I stay?"

"I won't get to see you much while you're here. I mostly just stay on the reservation. You're going to Forks high, right? I can't go over there. I'd look too suspicious, what with my superior dress sense and amazing looks, standing out amongst a load of badly-dressed, oily-skinned teenagers." He saw the look Valkyrie gave him. "And you of course."

She shook her head. "Goodbye Skulduggery." And walked inside.

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><p><strong>I know it doesn't seem like it, but there will be Valduggery in this story. Valduggery will conquer all! XD Promise!<br>**

**This will not be your average Twlight crossover ;)**

**xoxo**


	3. Familiar Faces

**Hellooo m'dears!**

**I'm really glad you're all liking this story so far :)**

**Just a quick notification for you all, I have a blog now! Yeah, I know right? I've actually joined the 21st century! I'm going to use it as a way for you all to keep up with all my stories and what updates are going on, and for whats going on with me in my life :) If you want to check it out, I'm at: .com**

**And now, here is the next chapter...**

Valkyrie pulled into the school parking lot in her jalopy of a truck, and parked up in one of the few remaining available spaces. She got out, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and began to walk towards the main school office.

Everyone shouted out horrible taunts at her. It was just unnecessary unkindness because she was the new girl. She had to clench her fists and try to resist the urge not to hurl fireballs at each and every single one of them.

"Nice clothes!" One girl shouted. "Still shopping in the boys section?"

Her friend giggled. "Yeah, that's what I used to wear when I was single!"

One girl threw a paper ball at Valkyrie's head. "Nice haircut! Where'd you get it done? Fantastic Lesbian's?"

Valkyrie pin wheeled round to glare at the mean girls, but someone touched her arm from behind, making her jump. Valkyrie turned and saw she was looking at a familiar, cute boy with spiky blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes.

"You don't want to pick a fight with those girls." The boy said. "Welcome to Forks, Val – I mean, Steph."

"Fletcher?" Valkyrie spluttered. "W...what? How? Why? You? Here? Why? When? WHY?"

"Calm down!" Fletcher put his hands on Valkyrie's shoulders. "Chill! Use your grown-up words!"

Valkyrie took a deep breath. "What are you doing here, Fletcher? Why aren't you back home in Haggard?"

He shrugged. "I enrolled here as a student."

"Yes, that much I had gathered. I want to know _why_."

Fletcher smiled. "The why isn't important, babe. Can't you just enjoy my company?"

"No!" She shrugged her hands off his shoulders. "And don't call me babe. We ended _ages_ ago. It's just creepy."

"Well, when you need a lunch date, a tour guide, a shoulder to cry on..." He winked at her. "I'm here for you."

Valkyrie pretended to gag. "Oh God! Hand me a bucket to puke in!"

Fletcher tilted back his head and laughed. "Come on. We need to get to our first lesson."

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows, sceptically. "We have our lessons together?"

He flashed her a wide grin. "Oh, yes."

"Oh, joy."

"And right now we have double chemistry."

She groaned. "Oh, double joy."

**Sorry that chapter was so short! I'll put up a longer one next time! Promise!**

**Don't forget to check out my new blog if you want :)**

**I'll update soon!**

**xoxo**


	4. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Sorry for the delay in updating, I have lots of other stories to keep going! LOL! :)**

**I'm glad you're all liking this so far :)**

**Please no Death Bringer spoilers in the reviews - thank you muchly my lovelys!**

**I hope you like the chapter!  
><strong>

Valkyrie and Fletcher walked out of the classroom and made their way to the lunch hall. They sat on a table with an older looking blonde girl who had her hair down, obscuring her face. They sat down and the girl finally looked up. Valkyrie realised she was looking at Melancholia.

"Melancholia?" She hissed. "What the Hell are you doing here?"

She smiled at Valkyrie. "I gave up necromancy. It just wasn't right for me; it just wasn't making me… happy. You know? I still believe in the wonderful glory of death, but I no longer feel I need to dedicate my entire life to it."

"Okay, well that's all very well, but how in the _Hell_ did you end up here? In bloody Forks Washington?"

She shrugged. "The Stream of Death carries us where it may."

Valkyrie tilted her head in a very Skulduggery-like way. "Mel, this is not time to play a game of who-can-be-the-most-pretentious. Why did you follow me here? Why did you _both_ follow me here? Why in God's name did everyone from Ireland follow me _here_?"

Fletcher and Melancholia looked at each other for a moment. They turned back to Valkyrie, and Fletcher said, "I have no idea what you're talking about," at the same time Melancholia said, "so what if we followed you here, what does it matter to you?"

This left an awkward silence to follow.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at them. She put on her 'questioning-detective-face' "Spill. Now. That was an order, not a request."

Fletcher sighed. "Alright, alright. Look Valkyrie, we were hired."

"By who?"

"Um… I don't think…"

"By _who_, Fletcher?"

"Skulduggery Pleasant."

"What were you hired to do?"

"To follow you wherever you went and keep you out of harm's way."

"And why is Skulduggery here?"

"I don't know."

Valkyrie gritted her teeth together, trying to fight off her frustration. She looked over at Melancholia. "Mel, I don't suppose you could enlighten me as to why Dear Skulduggery has followed me all the way out to Forks, could you?"

Melancholia shrugged. "Curiosity. Nostalgia. Etcetera."

"The _real_ answer please."

Melancholia rolled her eyes, and sighed dramatically. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, Valkyrie! Do you really need me to _spell it out_ for you?" When Valkyrie looked at her blankly she sighed again. "He's in love with you, Valkyrie! Jesus Christ, you're slow!"

Valkyrie blinked at her. "W… what?"

Melancholia nodded and picked at her lunch, unenthusiastically. "Yep. He's in love with you. Head over heels, love-struck, infatuated with you and sickeningly so. Then again, I am an ex-necromancer, and we never really found the time to find love even remotely interesting or worth-while, so I may have this all wrong... although I seriously doubt it. You might have a different view however."

Valkyrie looked at Fletcher. "Is this true? Does Skulduggery love me?"

Fletcher nodded. "Yeah, and I think you are the only one who didn't realise it."

Valkyrie frowned. "Well can you blame me for not realising? I have no such mutual feelings back towards him."

Fletcher and Melancholia both looked at her, mouths hanging open.

Fletcher spoke, "Hold on! Hold on! Are you seriously trying to tell us that you don't have any feelings towards Skulduggery? At all?"

Valkyrie nodded. "That is _exactly_ what I am trying to say."

Melancholia added in, "None at all?"

"Nope. I do not love him. Not one tiny eensy weensy bit."

Melancholia and Fletcher looked at each other for five full seconds before falling about with laughter. Their laughs boomed out across the cafeteria, making everyone look their way. Fletcher was laughing so much; tears were streaming down his cheeks. Melancholia was pounding her fist against the table as she roared with laughter.

"Hey!" Valkyrie snapped. "Shut up! I mean it! I was being serious, I do not love him!"

But this only heightened their laughter to new pitches.

Fletcher was gasping for air between laughing fits. "She says… she means… it!"

"Such a… joker!" Melancholia replied in a gasp.

Valkyrie's temper was rising. "Stop laughing! I don't love him!"

Fletcher and melancholia only cackled even harder. Fletcher even toppled backwards, off his chair and was rolling around on the cafeteria floor, giggling.

Valkyrie sighed. "You're both such idiots."

Melancholia wiped away tears as her chuckling slowed. She looked at Valkyrie, a grin on her face. "Oh, Val, that _is_ funny!"

"I was being serious, Mel. I don't like Skulduggery like that."

"And the fact you think that is even remotely true is even the more amusing!"

"I don't love Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Oh, you _so_ do. He came here to make sure you know that. He will keep at you, dropping not-so-subtle-hints, flirting, sending all his charm your way." Melancholia grinned in a very unsettlingly friendly kind of way. "You won't be able to resist."

Valkyrie arched an eyebrow. "Want to bet?"

"Be my guest."

Valkyrie sat back in her chair. "Okay, okay, I bet you..." She paused when she saw a beautiful blonde girl and a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy walk into the lunch hall. Behind them, followed in a petite, dark-haired girl, and a golden-blonde-haired, boy. "Who are _they_?"

Fletcher suddenly sat up and got back onto his chair, all traces of humour gone from his face. "Those are the Sullens." He said, suddenly very seriously. "All the adopted children of Doctor Cameron Sullen and his wife, Emily Sullen. They are bad news."

Valkyrie frowned. "Bad news?"

Melancholia nodded. "They are weird."

"Weirder than Necromancers?" Valkyrie said, concealing a grin.

"Most definitely." She leaned in closer, and Fletcher and Valkyrie mirrored her. "You see the Blonde girl? That's Rachel, and she goes out with the dark-haired boy, Everett."

Valkyrie tried not to stare. "They are beautiful."

Fletcher nodded. "Yeah, I know right? And you see the little dark-haired girl? Her name is Anna, and she goes out with the blonde haired boy, Casper, who looks like he is constantly constipated."

Valkyrie watched the four beautiful people as they sauntered past her and took a seat on the far table in the cafeteria. She looked back the way they had come and her mouth fell open at the gorgeous boy standing there. "Oh Good God _no!"_

Melancholia smiled. "Ah, I believe you don't need me to introduce him to you."

"What the Hell is Caelan doing here?"

She shrugged. "This one is actually a mystery to me. I was hoping you would know."

Valkyrie bit her lip. "Well, he did say something about being my guardian angel and looking after me wherever I go..."

"Well there you have it. He followed you here too."

Valkyrie sighed. "Will this stalking never end?"

Caelan made a b-line for the table that sat his new adopted family; he winked at Valkyrie as he walked by.

"Fancy meeting you here." He said under his breath, just loud enough for Valkyrie to hear.

Caelan sat down at his table and didn't take his eyes off Valkyrie.

She mouthed at him: _"You're an ass!"_

"You were saying?" Melancholia said, quite suddenly.

Valkyrie looked back to her. "What?"

"You were saying: _I bet you_... What? You bet us what?"

Valkyrie smiled. "I bet you I can prove I don't love Skulduggery."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"I will go out with anyone else here and fall in love with them too. I bet you I can do it."

Melancholia raised her eyebrows. "Anyone? Really?"

Valkyrie sat back in her chair and grinned. "Anyone."

Fletcher pointed at Caelan. "What about him?"

Valkyrie's smile dropped. "Anyone but him."

Melancholia grinned. "I thought you said you could do it?"

"I can, but–"

"Then do it. Fall in love with Caelan Sullen."

Valkyrie sat up straight and looked as defiant as she possibly could. "Okay! Okay, fine, I will!"

Melancholia looked over at Fletcher. "Okay, now _this_ should be good."

**Let me know what you thought, if you want :)**

**Please remember, no spoilers! :D**

**Untill the next update :)**

**xoxo**


	5. Oh Dear God

**Fanfic-ers! Big news! I met Derek Landy at his book signng in Bluewater! Me and my best friend were possibly the most hysterical people there, holding a HUGE pink and purple "I love Derek" banner that me and my best friend gave Derek. It was the best day of my life! It was sooo worth the five hour wait, being laughed at because of the banner. I had everything planned out, I was going to act cool and smooth and be totally relaxed... and then it all went pear shaped! I don't usually babble like I did that day, but it would seem that upon meeting him I was only able to speak fluent gibberish! He signed my book, did a little drawing of Skulduggery inside, took a photo with us, AND gave us both a hug! He gave me advice on writing, helping me out with my aspiring writing career. He took a picture of all the Skulduggery personalised stuff we had on (t-shirts, bags, banner)! I gave him a poem, drawing, and story which he said he would read and get back to me on. I was so excited about meeting him I was practically in tears, and I could have sworn I was going to faint! Best day of my life!**

**Also, in this story, let me know if you spotted the Death Bringer quotes ;)**

**I hope you like it!**

Valkyrie was finding her way to her biology class. She looked at the door in front of her. Room 18C. This must be it. She took a deep breath and walked into the room. It was packed out, kids seated everywhere. There was only one available seat left… and that was right next to Caelan.

She made her way over to him and smiled. She passed a fan on her way. One moment, Caelan was smiling back at her, the next he looked like he was going to puke. He clamped his hand over his mouth and gripped onto the edge of the table with his other.

Valkyrie gave him an odd look as she sat down next to him. "Hey, Caelan." She said, warily. "I didn't know you had moved here too – although it doesn't surprise me. How are you?"

He just glared at her, his hand still over his mouth.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "What's your problem? You got toothache or something?"

He said nothing and just looked away from her, out of the window.

She sighed. This bet to make Caelan and herself fall back in love wasn't starting off well. She looked away from him and grumpily stared ahead at the front of the class. That was when the teacher walked in. He was a tall, slender man, in a dark blue, pinstriped suit with a matching blue fedora, sitting low over his dark eyes and hair.

The man took of his hat, shook his back hair loose and smiled broadly at the class. "Hello everyone." He said in his velvety voice. "I am Mr Pleasant. You may address me as Mr Pleasant, Sir, Professor Pleasant, Dr Pleasant, His Almighty Holiness Pleasant, Supreme Overlord Pleasant, or Dave. Are there any questions?"

"Oh Dear God." Valkyrie groaned.

Pleasant looked over at her. "Is there a problem, Miss…" He pretended to look at his seating chart on his desk and then back to her. "Miss Edgley?"

"Yeah, there is!" She snapped. "What the bloody Hell are you doing here?"

All of the class, apart from Caelan, who was still looking out the window with his hand over his mouth, gasped at her, incredulously.

"I am here to teach this class, Miss Edgley. Please no vulgar language in my classroom. That is your first warning."

She laughed, humourlessly. "Seriously? How long are you going to keep up this charade for?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "That would be your second warning. Don't let there be a third."

"You arrogant, pretentious, self-absorbed ass-hole."

"That is it, Miss Edgley. Three warnings. You'll be seeing me after class."

She frowned. "The Hell I won't!"

He looked at her, sternly for the first time. "Stephanie. I will be seeing you after class. Do you understand me, young lady?"

Valkyrie went bright red at being called 'young lady' but she shut up all the same. She sunk down into her chair, crossing her arms, and sulked.

"Okay!" Skulduggery clapped his hands together. "Let's get this lesson started shall we?" He pointed at a boy in the front row. "You. Gentleman with the greasy hair and glasses, what's your name?"

The boy looked at him. "I'm sorry, Sir?"

"Okay, well Hello I'm sorry Sir, it's grand to meet you. Quite a mouthful of a name you have there, but I'm sure we could come up with a nick-name for you. Oh! What about Lefty?"

"Uh…"

"Perfect! Lefty it is! So, Lefty, would you like to tell me where your last teacher left off last lesson?"

The boy blinked at him. "Uh… we were, uh, discussing the cell cycle."

"Ah!" Skulduggery nodded. "The cell cycle. The cycle of a cell. Good stuff indeed. Thank you, Lefty." He looked at the rest of the class. "Can anyone tell me what the cell cycle is?"

No one answered. Everyone just stared at him, mouth agape.

He smiled at a girl three seats away from Lefty, with her hair in plaits. "Hello, Little Miss Pigtails. What is your name?"

"Leanne." She squeaked.

"Ah, hello, Leanne. Have you met Lefty here? Very nice chap indeed. Very smooth. He leaned in closer to her. "Although, between you and me, I think he has a bit of an identity crisis. He couldn't even remember his own name!" He pulled back and smiled at her again. "So, Leanne, would you like to tell us what the cell cycle is?"

She looked at him in awe for a few moments before replying. "Uh, it's something to do with the different life stages in a cell, right?"

"I don't have a Bull's notion, to be honest with you, Leanne." He said, cheerfully

"Pardon?"

"I don't have the faintest idea about what a cell cycle is. I've never taught biology a day before in my life. I would have guessed that the cell cycle was something to do with a charity for buying bicycles for underprivileged cells, but evidently not."

One girl at the back slowly put her hand up.

Skulduggery looked over at her, and smiled. "Yes, squirrel-faced girl in the back row?"

"Um, Sir–"

"Young Miss, that will be, His Almighty Holiness Pleasant to you, please."

He stared at him. "Are you being serious?"

"Young Miss, I am _always_ being serious."

"I just want to ask a question."

"Fire away."

"Why are you teaching biology if you have no idea about what any of it is?"

He nodded at her. "Very good question. Tell me, Miss, what is your name?"

"Abigail, Sir."

"Well, Abby – may I call you Abby? I feel like we have become friends in these last few seconds. May I call you Abby?"

She looked at him. "Um, sure."

Skulduggery sat on his desk. "Well, Abby, you see, the thing is, I am simply just a supply teacher. We are basically just glorified teaching assistants. We don't actually have to know anything about a class to teach it, we just have to look like we do. Do you understand, Abby?"

"Well, yeah I guess, but our normal teacher is going to be out for weeks. If you're not going to teach us, what are we going to be doing every lesson?"

He grinned. "I'm glad you asked that, actually." She walked over to his desk, opened a draw and pulled out two DVDs. He held them up to the her. "Spiderman 2, or X Men, Abby?"

Abby looked at him, utterly bewildered. "Um, X Men?"

He nodded. "Spiderman 2 it is, then."

Pleasant put the DVD into the laptop drive. He hooked up the laptop on his desk with the interactive whiteboard and the film started playing on the big screen. Skulduggery sat down on his chair and put his feet up on his desk.

"I expect you all to be taking notes on this by the way." Skulduggery said to them.

**Did you spot the quotes? ;)**

**I felt like we should have Skulduggery keep on popping up in this story, even though nothing** **like that jappens in Twilight.**

**Let me know if you liked it :)**

**xoxo  
><strong>


	6. Unexpected Situations

**Prepare for Valduggery goodness! :D**

The bell sounded and the students filtered out of the classroom. Valkyrie tried to sneak out, but Skulduggery stopped her.

"Stephanie?" He called.

Sighing she turned around to face him. "What?"

"Are you forgetting that I wanted a word with you after class, Miss Edgley?"

"Oh, drop the act, Skulduggery!" Valkyrie snapped. "Everyone's gone; you can stop calling me Stephanie!"

Skulduggery checked that everyone really was gone. Then he turned to her, smiling.

"Surprise!" He grinned. "Are you pleased to see me?"

"No."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You're not?"

"No."

"But, why ever _not,_ Valkyrie?"

"Because you can't keep on just showing up all over the place, Skulduggery!" She hissed.

Skulduggery's façade pained slightly. "You don't want me here."

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I didn't say that."

"But it's what you meant."

"No it isn't!" She snapped, looking at him. "You can't be here! You're ruining my plans!"

His eyebrows tugged together. "Your plans for what?"

Valkyrie felt her cheeks redden. "Um… nothing."

"Tell me." He said, bluntly.

"No." She replied, equally as firmly.

"Tell me. Now."

"No."

"Valkyrie…"

"No!"

"TELL ME!"

"ALRIGHT!" She yelled. "Bloody Hell, Skulduggery!"

"What is going on here that you don't want me to know about?"

She sighed. "I have a bet going on."

"What kind of bet?"

"A bet where I'm supposed to get Caelan to fall in love with me again."

His temporary face darkened. "The vampire?"

"Yes." She said quietly. "And I have to fall in love with him in return. Then I'll win."

Skulduggery shook his head. "What on _Earth_ would lead you to make such a ridiculous decision?"

"Melancholia and Fletcher drove me to it."

"How exactly?"

"Does it really matter?" She snapped, huffily.

"You're at the beginning of another teenage vampire romance. Of _course_ it matters."

"Why do you care?" She asked, spitefully.

"Why do you think I wouldn't care?" He returned her acidic tone.

"Because you left me! You up and disappeared!"

"For your own good!"

She growled, "How is being away from you in the least bit good for me?"

"Because I'm a horrible person, Valkyrie! You know I am. You know who I was in my past! You know how evil I can truly be!"

Her mouth fell open into an O shape. "Um, _hello?_ The evil Darquesse who is destined to destroy the world over here, at your service! You think you're the only person here who has demons?"

Skulduggery dragged a hand down his face. "I don't see why you won't just tell me why you're trying to fall in love with Caelan all over again!"

"Because I am!" She yelled.

"BUT _WHY_?"

"BECAUSE MELANCHOLIA AND FLETCHER TOLD ME THAT YOU LOVED ME!" She shouted. "AND I WAS SCARED THAT IF I DIDN'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT SOON, I MIGHT REALISE THAT I LOVED YOU BACK!"

Skulduggery paused. "You… you think you _love_ me?"

"I don't know." She said, miserably.

There was another pause. Then Skulduggery said, "Well, that's good enough for me."

He rushed to her and held her face in between his gloved hands. His crushed his temporary lips to hers. He expected her to push him away but she didn't. He didn't want to over-stay his welcome, and as much as he didn't want to, he ripped himself away from her.

She blinked and stared at him. "Oh." She mumbled. "Well that was unexpected."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have–"

He was cut off by Valkyrie crashing into his arms, pressing her lips to his, kissing him hungrily. His hands gripped at her waist, pulling her against him. They stumbled as they both became love-drunk from the passionate kiss. They knocked desks and chair out of the way as they clambered to the store cupboard. He lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

The crashed into the store room and the door slammed shut behind them. Together in the pitch black around them, there was finally no one present to judge them or the way they felt about each other.

**I realise this doesn't happen in Twilight, but I will be doing lots of these random non-twilight scenes throughout this story so that we can have lots of Valduggery!**

**Until the next update!**

**xoxo**


	7. The Nightmare

**More of the Twiskul Saga!**

Valkyrie lay in bed, thinking about today's events. She had made a bet in school that Skulduggery and she had no feelings for each other. To prove this she had to try to get herself and Caelan to try and fall in love with each other again…

And then she and Skulduggery had made out in the supply closet.

It kind of defeated the object of her bet. However, she couldn't let Fletcher and Melancholia win. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. She groaned. It looked like she was going to be having a teenage vampire romance…

And an affair with her skeleton best friend.

She groaned and rolled over so that her face was hidden in her pillow. She drifted off into a deep sleep...

_Valkyrie was sitting on her bed in a tank-top and her French knickers, texting her mother back home. She looked up when she heard a scraping noise. Her eyes darted from object to object in her room, trying to decode where the sound was coming from. She couldn't place her finger on it, and went back to texting._

_Five minutes later she heard the noise again. More alarmed, she looked up again. And then she saw it. At the window. The shadow silhouette of Caelan Sullen. She jumped off the bed and ran to the window. She opened it and let him inside._

_Without a word, Caelan silently climbed inside her room. He took her in his strong arms and carried her over to the bed. He laid her down on the bed and crawled on top of her. He smiled down at her, love brimming in his eyes, almost toppling over his cheeks as tears. Valkyrie smiled back up at him._

_Caelan slowly inclined his neck down to her breastbone and gently kissed her skin. Valkyrie gasped with pleasure at his touch. He trailed kisses up over her collarbone, across the base of her neck, up her neck, over her jawbone, and to the corners of her mouth._

_Valkyrie gasped again as the fire spread through her body. She clutched him closer, begging for him to kiss her properly. He chuckled and his lips finally descended upon hers. He abruptly pulled away and looked down at her. She was about to ask him what the matter was, but she screamed when she saw his face._

_His eyes glowed red like the devils. Red veins spread out from the corners of his eyes. Fangs protruded from his gums, hanging low over his bottom lip. Caelan pinned her against the bed and sank his fangs into her neck._

_Valkyrie screamed, raw and terrified..._

Valkyrie jolted awake in her bed, screaming. She sat up and frantically looked around her room. The window was safely shut and Caelan was nowhere to be seen. She suddenly wondered whether or not she could go through with this bet. She frenetically shook her head. What was she talking about? _Of course she could do it!_ She was Valkyrie Cain, for Christ's sake!

Sighing, she wiped the sweat from her brow with her pyjama sleeve.

That was the first night she dreamt of Caelan Sullen.

**Let me know what you thought :)**

**xoxo**


	8. Naughty But Nice

**I told you I'd update soon :)**

**Now, if you've read my other Valduggery stories on here, you'll probably know about my "all-over-facade" I created a while back. It keeps on making comebacks, and now is no acception. For those of you who don't know, the "all-over-facade" is bascally just a facade that gives Skulduggery a full human body again. Simples!**

**Enjoy the story...**

Valkyrie braced herself before going inside her biology class. _He_ would be there. _Both_ of them. Caelan – the boy she was _supposed_ to love, and Skulduggery – the man she _did_ love. With a heavy sigh she let herself inside the classroom.

To her surprise Skulduggery was not there. There was a young man with sandy blond hair writing on the chalkboard. It could have easily been Skulduggery with a different face on – but it was the way he was dressed that gave him away. He was wearing black skinny-jeans, a pink, checked t-shirt, and a flamboyant blue cardigan.

He turned round and saw her. He smiled, genuinely. "Oh, hello, Miss. And who are you?"

She made her way to her seat as she answered. "Um, Stephanie Edgley. Sir, where is Mr Pleasant?"

"He was only covering your lesson yesterday. I'm Mr Rayfield. I will be your supply teacher from now on until your real teacher gets back."

"Oh." She mumbled as she sat down next to Caelan. "Okay then."

She had been hoping to see Skulduggery.

The teacher started his lesson and Valkyrie began to stare into space. It was only when she heard someone speak to her in a silky-smooth voice did she break out of her trance.

"Hello." Caelan had said.

Valkyrie looked at him, speechless. "Uh… hi?"

Caelan smiled, eerily friendly. "How are you?"

"Um… fine thanks."

He nodded. "It's been a while since I saw you last back in Haggard."

"The last time we were together we were in a relationship."

"That's correct." He nodded again. "So, how do you like Forks?"

She shrugged. "It's okay."

"The weather isn't too different from Haggard, eh?" He asked.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "You're asking me about the weather?"

He frowned slightly. "I… I guess I am."

She sighed. "You should know me Caelan. You should know I don't like any cold, wet thing."

He grinned. "Wow you must really hate snow cones then."

She tried not to laugh. "Shut up, you goon"

He laughed quietly. His eyes suddenly lit up like he had another question. "So why did you leave Ireland?"

She frowned. "_Me?_ Why did _you_ leave Ireland?"

He shrugged. "Vampires can never settle. What's your excuse?"

She looked away from him. "It's complicated."

"I think I can keep up."

She sighed and looked back at him. "My mum and dad divorced after they found out about magic. They argued over whether or not my life was too dangerous for me. Dad got mad and left, moving over here. My mum stayed at home and I stayed there with her for a while. But then Skulduggery left too, and home just held too many bad memories for me. So I moved here to live with my dad. However I didn't expect half of Ireland to be moving here with me too…"

He looked at her, compassionately. "And now you're upset?"

She frowned at him. "What's with all the compassion, Caelan? You're a vampire, dude. Aren't you mean to be all fangs and _rawr_?"

He bit his lip, nervously. "I'm just trying to figure you out."

"We dated for, like, a year. You should know me well enough by now." She frowned and looked into his dark eyes. They were usually so dark. But now they seemed lighter – like a light golden. "Hey, Caelan, did you get contacts?"

He quickly looked away from her. "Um… yes… it's the… um… fluorescence…" He trailed off.

The intercom suddenly came to life. _"Can Stephanie Edgley please report to the Principal's office? That is Stephanie Edgley to the Principal's office please. Thank you."_

Valkyrie groaned and resisted the urge to throw a fireball at the intercom. With a huge sigh, she heaved herself up from her chair, grabbed her bag and stormed out of the classroom. She stomped down the hall to the principal's office. She knocked on the door and let herself inside.

"You wanted to see me Sir?"

The man in the principal's chair swung around slowly to see her. Sitting in the principal's giant, red, velvet chair was Skulduggery pleasant.

There was a grin in his tone. "Yes, I _did_ want to see you Miss Cain."

Valkyrie grinned at him. She shut the door behind her and locked it. Slowly she sauntered over to Skulduggery. She came round to his side and sat on the desk.

"Why did you call me here, Mr Pleasant?"

He stood up and faced her. Putting his hands on her hips, her knees parting slightly to make room for him to press against her, he put a hand tentatively to her cheek.

"You have been _very_ naughty Miss Cain." The smile still evident in his tone. "Very, _very_ naughty!"

She grinned. Her hands were placed against his chest. "Oh dear! What are you going to do to me, Mr Pleasant?"

"I am going to teach you a lesson, Miss Cain."

"A very hard lesson?"

"An _extremely _hard lesson indeed."

Valkyrie laughed and undid Skulduggery's shirt buttons, revealing his ribcage. Her fingers climbed each one of his extremely sensitive ribs, making him tremble with delight under her gentle touch. She reached his collarbones and activated his façade.

To her surprise, not only did a handsome face with bright blue eyes and shaggy brown hair appear, but so did a toned, muscular torso, and muscled arms and soft, giant hands – and, well, _everything._ She gasped at the new temporary body his façade had provided.

"Skulduggery!" She breathed. "You're... _magnificent."_

He gently ran his hands through her hair, bringing them back round to cup her face. "Do you like it? I had China fix it up for me after our time in the, uh, supply closet. I thought that a body might help with the, uh..." He started to blush. "The... uh..."

She laughed and pulled him into a passionate kiss. She pulled away so she could say, "Thank you."

He smiled. "I know we're not at that stage of our relationship yet, and I would never force you into anything, this is just in case it's needed for later on."

"Okay. Sounds good to me." She pulled him in for another kiss.

It would _most definitely_ be needed later on...

**I hope you liked it :D 3**

**xoxo**


	9. Examination

**Sorry for the delay in updating, but here you go :)**

**Enjoy!**

At the end of the day, Valkyrie made her way over to her truck in the school parking lot. She heard Fletcher call her name and she looked back and waved at him. Well, she waved, but realised she couldn't see him anywhere. Where was he? He was still calling her name – _screaming_ it in fact.

Then she saw him. He was in a blue van that was speeding over the ice on the ground, totally out of control, speeding towards her, to crush her in-between the two vehicles.

She backed up against her truck and screamed as the van closed in.

There was a blur somewhere in the crowd, something with dark hair and pale skin rushed towards her. Suddenly Caelan was by her side, protectively holding her against his chest, his other arm outstretched. Fletcher's van crashed into Caelan's hand, stopping on impact with his palm, his brute strength protecting the both of them.

Caelan took his hand away from the van, a clear imprint of his palm in the metal. Valkyrie gasped and looked at him.

"Something's different about you." She whispered. "You're not the same vampire as before."

Caelan said nothing. He just gave her a smouldering look before letting go of her and running off at super speed. Fletcher got out of his van and ran to Valkyrie, Melancholia close behind him.

"Val!" Fletcher helped her up. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Mel, call an ambulance!"

"Already on it." Melancholia said, flipping out her mobile.

Even though Valkyrie was completely unscathed and unharmed they still dragged her to the hospital. She sat on a hospital bed with her dad fussing over here.

"Dad, I'm fine." She grumbled.

"You could have been killed!"

"Yes… but I wasn't. So leave it."

Fletcher sat on the hospital bed next to Valkyrie.

"I'm so, _so _sorry, Val." He said, obviously feeling awful.

"I'll be having words with you later, boy!" Desmond growled.

Fletcher shrunk away from him and Valkyrie punched her dad's arm.

"Hey! Leave him alone! It was an accident!" Valkyrie snapped.

"The boy tried to _assassinate_ you!" Desmond barked.

"It was an accident! Really, Mr Edgley! I swear!" Fletcher insisted.

Desmond scowled at Fletcher. "You better learn to sleep with your eyes _open_!"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "Dad, you're an idiot!"

At that moment, the hospital room door opened and a doctor strolled into the room, dressed in a blue pin-stripe suit, with a white doctor's coat over the top. He wore no hat, so you could see his dark brown wavy hair. When he looked at Valkyrie his sea green-blue eyes sparkled.

Valkyrie knew who he was even before he spoke.

"Hello Miss Edgley." Skulduggery said.

She tried to contain her grin. "Hello, Dr….?"

"Pleasant." He smiled. "I'm Dr Pleasant."

Neither Fletcher nor Desmond realised that Dr Pleasant was indeed Skulduggery Pleasant. They were too busy still arguing over the accident.

"Hello, Dr Pleasant." Valkyrie batted her eyelashes.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I was a little out of sorts earlier… but I'm feeling much better now."

Skulduggery tried not to laugh. "Well a full examination will be able to tell."

She arched an eyebrow. "A _full_ examination?"

He nodded. "I think it would be in your best interests. Mr Edgley? Mr Renn?"

Both men turned to Skulduggery.

"Would you mind leaving the room?" Skulduggery asked. "Stephanie needs an examination and I'm assuming she would like her privacy."

"Oh! Yes!" Valkyrie said, quickly. "I don't want you guys to be here for that."

Desmond frowned. "But it's just a routine check-up."

Skulduggery put up his hands, defensively. "I'm sorry, gents, patient privacy policy."

Skulduggery ushered Desmond and Fletcher out of the room and locked the door behind them. He turned back to Valkyrie. They had the whole room to themselves and no one could get in.

_Perfect._

Valkyrie patted the space of bed next to her. "Well, Dr Pleasant? Aren't you going to _examine_ me?"

**Sorry for the overly-cheesy ending line! LOL!**

**xoxo**


	10. Love And Lies

**More Valduggery :D**

Skulduggery didn't need asking twice. He was already ripping his lab coat from his body, and practically diving onto the bed with her. Valkyrie laid back and pulled him on top of her. She ripped open his shirt buttons and ran her hands over his perfectly sculpted body. Everywhere her hands touched him it was like fire was licking over his temporary skin.

He inclined his face down to hers and began kissing her. Her lips, her throat, her collar bone, every new place he kissed, another elated sighed passed her lips. His strong hands gripped her waist like he couldn't get enough of her – like he never wanted to let go.

"I think I love you." Skulduggery murmured against her skin.

Valkyrie pushed him away slightly so she could look at him. "I'm sorry?"

Skulduggery looked like he was blushing. "I... I said... I think I love you, Valkyrie."

"You only _think_?"

Skulduggery put a finger to her lips and kissed her neck again. "Let's not waste time with semantics, shall we?"

She pushed him back and looked at him again. "You _think_ you love me, or you _know_ you love me?"

He laughed, gently, playing with a strand of her hair. "Do you really even _need_ to ask?"

She grinned, "I guess not," And pulled him back down onto her.

. . . . . . . .

Valkyrie fixed her hair, trying to tame it as she left the hospital bedroom. She walked down the corridor to find her dad, but instead bumped into Caelan.

"Oh!" She gasped, surprised. "It's you."

Caelan looked startled at first, but he quickly smoothed over his features. "Hello, Valkyrie. How are you feeling?"

She frowned. "What?"

"The accident?" He arched an eyebrow. "Where I pulled you out of the way of the van?"

"_What?"_ She repeated.

"Don't you remember? Are you still confused?"

"Confused?" She snapped. "The only thing I'm confused about is why you are lying to me!"

He smiled, slightly teasingly. "Valkyrie, whatever do you mean?"

"You stopped the van!" Valkyrie hissed. "Dude, I know you're a vampire, but not even _you_ can do that! You've never been particularly strong for a vamp, anyway! What's changed about you? Why are you suddenly different?"

He pretended to look shocked. "Valkyrie, I didn't stop the van, I just pulled you out of the way."

"Why are you lying?"

"Why won't you give it a rest?"

Her eyebrows shot upwards at the sign that she had touched a nerve. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"No." He snapped.

"What has happened to you? Why are you different?"

"I'm _not_!"

"Yes you are!"

"You're not going to give up on this are you?"

She smiled, smugly. "No."

"Right." Caelan said huffily. "Well, then I hope you enjoy disappointment."

He turned on his heel and strode away, leaving Valkyrie pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

**I'll update soon!**

**Much love,**

**Sabrina!**

**xoxo**


	11. A Bizzare Rescue

**I present you with chapter 11!**

**Be warned, there is a sensitive issue in this.**

Valkyrie fired up her laptop at home and began to do some research. She searched _"Vampires"_ but all that came up was a load of nonsensical drivel about Dracula and coffins, so she knew she had to take a different approach. She was still a detective and it was her job to figure out what was going on with Caelan, and whether or not she should call Skulduggery in to lock him up or not.

However there was a knock at her door. She ran downstairs and wrenched open her front door to realise she was looking at Melancholia.

"Oh." Valkyrie mumbled. "It's you."

"Well don't sound so bloody pleased to see me!"

"Sorry, I just… I thought you were someone else."

Melancholia grinned. "Skulduggery?"

Valkyrie frowned, remembering her bet. "No! I like Caelan, remember?"

"Yeah right, and _I_ think those shoes are cute on you."

Valkyrie frowned. "You don't like my shoes?"

Melancholia shook her head. Grabbing her arm she dragged Valkyrie out of her house. "Come on!"

. . . . . . .

Melancholia tried on her thirteenth dress. She came out of the changing rooms and did a little twirl for Valkyrie.

"What do you think?" She asked. "How about this dress for prom?"

Valkyrie looked up at her from where she was sitting. "Um… yeah. Yeah it's…nice. Very, uh…pink…"

Melancholia sighed. "You're not into this are you? Shopping?"

Valkyrie smiled, sheepishly. "Not really."

"Okay then, so what do _you_ want to do?"

"Well, I'd really like to go to this book shop–"

"_Book shop?_" Melancholia interrupted. "You don't read."

Valkyrie pouted. "I do."

"You most certainly don't."

"Yeah, actually, Mel, I do."

"No, Val, you really don't."

Valkyrie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, I need to go to the book shop because I need a special _kind_ of book, and I'm pretty sure this place will sell it!"

Melancholia arched an eyebrow. "What book shop?"

"Ovillinati's Occult Books."

"A sorcerer's book shop?"

"Yup."

Melancholia frowned. "And what book do you want from there?"

"Anything to do with vampires."

Now Melancholia was truly confused. "But you already know everything about vampires."

Valkyrie shrugged. "I thought I did. I don't know. I mean, your classic vampire will just rip of their skin at night and be all fangs and _rawr_, but I think something's changed. I think Caelan's changed. He's joined that Sullen family and nothing been the same since. He is super-fast, super-strong, his eyes change colour – it just makes no sense!"

"Then go." Melancholia grabbed Valkyrie's arm and hauled her to her feet. "Find out what you need to know. I'll meet you at Elfonzo's Diner in an hour."

Valkyrie smiled. "You sure?"

"Positive. You're no help to me here anyway."

Valkyrie grinned and dashed out of the shop, speed-walking to Ovillinati's.

. . . . . . . .

Valkyrie paid the man behind the counter and left the book shop. She was shocked to see how dark it had gotten outside. She shoved her hands in her pockets and speed-walked through the streets.

She heard a man's voice from behind her. "Hey, beautiful. You walking my way?"

She ignored him and hastily walked on.

Another two guys stepped out on the street a few yards in front of her.

"Where you going in such a hurry?" The one on the left asked.

"Don't you want to hang around for a bit?" The one on the right leered.

Valkyrie turned the nearest corner walking down an unknown street to her.

She saw another guy at the end of the street. "Wanna have some fun?" He grinned, spitefully, at her.

Valkyrie had decided she had stayed calm for long enough. She broke into a run. She fled down the street, hearing the guys laughing behind her. Another man stepped out of an alleyway in front of her and she collided with him.

He wrapped his huge arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides. "Hello Poppet." He grinned.

She struggled against his grip. "Let me go!"

"Not yet. Not until we've played a few games."

"You're making a big mistake."

He laughed, nastily. "Oh yeah? I don't see anyone else around here to help you, sweet-pea."

"You asked for it." Valkyrie hissed.

She clicked her fingers, about to summon a flame into her hand, but something wooden smashed into the back of her head from behind. She cried out in pain, tears springing to her eyes, and her legs went slack. The man let go of her and she collapsed to the ground.

She curled up in a ball on the floor, clutching the back of her head, moaning in agony. Her brain was screaming at her to get up and fight back, but her head was throbbing, her mind was swimming and here vision was blurred.

The five men stood around her, smirking, evilly.

"Who wants to go first?" One man asked.

"Me." Another man grunted. "I spotted her, I get first go."

The man kicked Valkyrie in the side, knocking her out of her ball. She rolled over onto her back, fighting back tears of pain. Every time she tried to get up, she winced and flopped back down to the ground, cursing her weak body.

The man straddled her hips, pinning her arms above her head.

"Hello, sweetheart." He sneered at her.

"Get off me." She muttered, but it didn't sound convincing.

"Make me."

"If you insist." Said a voice from behind them.

The men looked up and saw a remarkably dressed, rather tall, gentleman. He had bronze hair that swept low over his hazel eyes that held nothing but pure hatred for the five thugs he was looking at.

They all burst out laughing at him.

"Who the Hell are you?" The man on top on Valkyrie asked.

"I'm the man who's going to smash you're bloody face in if you don't get off the girl."

"You're going to beat me up?" He asked, doubtfully.

"Well, I was going to. But I guess I could always... _shoot_ you?"

"Oh yeah? You and what army?"

The tall man pulled out an old-style revolver. "Me and _this _army."

The five thug's eyes widened. The man on top of Valkyrie leapt off her and scuttled away. They all backed off, cautiously.

The tall man kept his gun trained on them as he walked over to Valkyrie. He scooped her up with his free arm and protectively held her against him.

Valkyrie nuzzled her face into the man's shoulder. The material of his suit was so smooth and familiar against her skin. The smell of his cologne was so recognisable. The way he pressed her against him – it was like they had done this before.

"Skulduggery." She whispered, his name bringing tears to her eyes.

"It's okay, darling." He whispered next to her ear. He looked back at the men. "May I suggest you all run before I shoot you all dead?"

Before the men could even run, a silver Volvo sped round the corner, crashing into the five thugs, sending them sprawling, crying out in pain. The car stopped and Caelan got out. He looked at Skulduggery, not even realising who he was with his facade on.

"Give me the girl." He growled.

Skulduggery arched an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"You're all just a bunch of common thugs. Now give me the girl."

Skulduggery was about to respond, but Caelan gave him the most scathing look ever.

"I'll catch up with you later." Skulduggery inconspicuously murmured to Valkyrie.

He put away his gun, scooped Valkyrie up into his arms and handed her over to Caelan.

Caelan held her against him. "If you or your friends ever try and hurt her ever again, I'll kill you all."

"Caelan. Enough." Valkyrie grumbled against his chest. She wanted to be back in Skulduggery's arms, but she didn't want to give the game away, letting Caelan know it was Skulduggery, and that he and she were secretly having an affair.

Caelan turned and carried Valkyrie back to the Volvo. He put her inside the passenger seat and got in the driver's side. They drove away at top speed, Valkyrie giving Skulduggery an apologetic look through the window.

**Hope I didn't touch a nerve too badly there for anyone.**

**Next chappie will be less sinister! Promise!**

**xoxo**


	12. Saying What's On Your Mind

**Another update. Because I love you all! ;)**

Caelan sped down the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turning white. He hunched over the steering wheel, his breathing coming out in short, sharp breaths.

Valkyrie watched him from the passenger seat, curiously. She wanted more than anything to be with Skulduggery, but she had a suspicion she might figure out what Caelan's secret was tonight, and that opportunity was just too delicious to ignore.

"Distract me." He growled.

She frowned at him. "Huh?"

"I should go back there and rip those lowlifes to pieces."

"Um, yeah, no you shouldn't."

He glanced sideways at her. "You don't know what vile, horrible, _disgusting_ things they were thinking."

Valkyrie arched an eyebrow at him. "And you do?"

He hesitated for only a moment. "Well, it's not hard to guess. Now will you please just distract me so I don't back there and kill those thugs?"

"Um, okay." Valkyrie blinked. "Um… you should be wearing your seatbelt."

Caelan laughed, but it was strained. "_You_ should be wearing _your_ seatbelt."

They drove a little longer in silence.

"Will you take me to Elfonzo's please?" She asked.

He frowned slightly. "Why do you want to go there?"

"I was supposed to be meting Mel there for dinner half an hour ago."

"Oh. Okay sure." He mumbled.

He drove to Elfonzo's Diner and pulled up in the parking lot. They both got out to see Melancholia standing in the car park looking at them. Suddenly she grinned at them both.

Valkyrie laughed at her expression. "Oh God, here we go."

"Sorry?" Caelan looked at her.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." She looked at Melancholia. "Sorry I'm late."

"You should be." Melancholia replied. "I was waiting for ages; I ended up eating without you!"

"It's my fault." Caelan smiled, graciously. "We ran into each other and got talking. I'm sorry I held her up."

Melancholia sighed, trying to sound annoyed, but it didn't sound convincing. "Oh, I see."

"I think I should take Valkyrie to get something to eat." Caelan smiled, irresistibly. "I don't want to be responsible for her missing her dinner. I'll take her home myself."

"_Oh!_ I _see!"_ Melancholia directed a saucy gaze at Valkyrie.

Valkyrie kept up her 'I'm-interested-in-Caelan' act, and tried to look coy about the whole situation. If only everyone knew what had been going on secretly with her and Skulduggery…

Caelan put his hand on Valkyrie's back and began to lead her towards the restaurant.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Mel." Valkyrie waved limply as they passed.

"Have fun." She replied in a co-conspirator way.

Inside, Caelan and Valkyrie were shown to a table. They sat down and the waitress came over almost immediately.

"What can I get for you?" She smiled, batting here eyelashes at Caelan.

"Nothing for me." He said, politely. "But my friend here will have something."

Valkyrie scowled at him. "But I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat so that you won't go into shock."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and picked up her menu. Scanning her eyes over it for all of five seconds, she put it down and curtly said, "Mushroom soup, please."

The waitress nodded. She looked back at Caelan. "You sure I can't get you anything?"

Caelan smiled. "No thank you."

The waitress left them in peace, leaving Valkyrie with time to get some answers. She looked at Caelan. "Okay, dude, spill."

He looked at her innocently. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, alright."

"I'm being serious."

"In that case I'm leaving."

She got up to leave but Caelan interrupted her.

"Wait!" He said, almost pleading. "Don't leave. Not yet."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Are you going to tell me what I want to know?"

He paused and then sighed. "Yes."

Slowly, she sat down. "Okay, now tell me."

"What do you want to know?"

"How did you know where I would be tonight? Were you following me?"

He paused for a moment. "Yes."

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Again? Really Caelan, I thought you were through with all that?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I can't help it. I feel very... _protective_ of you."

"Earlier on you said you knew what those guys were thinking. What's up with that? You could never do that before."

"It's a new skill I've acquired."

"Elaborate please."

He leaned forward and spoke in hushed tones. "I can read everyone's mind in this room apart from yours."

She frowned. "What? Why? Is there something wrong with me?"

He laughed. "I just told you I can read minds and you think there's something wrong with _you?"_

She couldn't help but grin. "Okay, fair play."

The waitress came back with Valkyrie's mushroom soup. The waitress slipped Valkyrie a little note under Valkyrie's napkin. Inconspicuously, Valkyrie edged the note out and glanced sideways at it. It read:

_Valkyrie,_

_Meet me in the ladies room in five minutes._

_I have to see you again. I need to know you're okay._

_Love, Skulduggery_

_Xoxo_

Valkyrie nearly choked.

"Are you okay?" Caelan asked.

"Um," stuttered. "Um, yes, I'm fine." She shovelled in a mouthful of soup. And another. And another. Abruptly, she stood up. "Would you excuse me for just a moment?" She asked.

"Of course."

"Thanks." She smiled briefly at him before turning on her heel and marching of to the restrooms.

**I hope you liked it!**

**(((Hugs)))**

**xoxo**


	13. In The Bathroom

**Things are going to get slightly steamy in here right about now...**

Valkyrie pushed open the bathroom door and in an instant she was in Skulduggery's arms.

"Valkyrie!" He breathed, burying his temporary face into her hair. "Oh, thank God you're okay!"

Valkyrie laughed gently and nuzzled her face into his chest. "I have _you_ to thank for that."

"If I had gotten there a little later…" He tensed up, shaking with anger. "… God knows what they would have done to you."

"Shh," Valkyrie soothed. She placed her hands on his chest, pacifyingly running them up and down his torso. "It's okay. You saved me. It's okay."

"I've known women who have been attacked in a way like what they were going to do to you. It ruined them. It destroyed them." He looked at Valkyrie, his eyes blazing, fiercely. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

She placed her hands either side of his face and stroked her thumbs lightly over his cheekbones. "Look at me, Skulduggery. Look at me. See, I'm fine, okay? I'm fine."

Skulduggery wrapped his arms around her tightly, his chin resting on her head. "Don't _ever _walk through dangerous street on your own at night _ever_ again, okay?"

"Okay, I promise."

"I already lost one woman I loved. I can't bear to lose another."

Valkyrie pulled away from slightly him and looked up at him. "You really do love me, don't you?"

He cupped her face in his hands. "Like nothing else on this Earth."

"You need to know that when I tell you I love you too, that I mean it as well."

He smiled, lovingly at her. "Of course I know you mean it. You're my Valkyrie."

She smiled back. "And you're my Skulduggery."

Skulduggery put his hand under her chin and tilted her head upwards. Their lips parted slightly and found each other. Skulduggery applied soft pressure, kissing her with tender determination, his hands gently running through her hair like she was the most fragile thing in the world.

Valkyrie slowly ran her hands up his chest, locking them around the back of his neck. Skulduggery trailed his hands down her neck, over her collar bone, skimming her waist. His hands found their place on her hips and he pulled her even more impossibly closer to him.

Without even realising she was doing it, raised one leg, her inner-thigh pressing close to his hip, like she had seen all the time with lovers on the TV and ballroom dancers partaking in a romantic tango. Skulduggery's hand went to her thigh, squeezing slightly. His hand went to her other leg, and he pulled it up round his hip like the other one, so he was carrying her. He lifted her onto the sink worktop, sitting on the edge, and leaned into her, their hips pressed against each other.

He began to kiss her harder, his lips pressing onto hers more urgently, hungrier, more desperate to caress hers. His tongue was rougher, tasting her mouth. He softly bit her lip, making her moan softly and clutch onto him tighter.

The bathroom door opened and an elderly lady walked in. She saw Skulduggery and Valkyrie in a passionate embrace on the bathroom worktop and her mouth fell open making a huge O shape.

"Oh my!" She breathed.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked up in shock and saw her.

"Uh-oh." Valkyrie muttered.

"My, oh, my!" The lady mumbled, shaking her head as she walked back out.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked at each other for a few moments before bursting into fits of laughter. Still laughing, she pulled his lips back to hers, and the perfect kiss continued.

**Don't say I didn't warn you ;) Heh heh...**

**xoxo**


	14. Goodbye Old Friend

**We're going from happy to sad here... sorry about that!**

**Warning: There are a few instances of bad language.**

**Enjoy!**

Caelan was driving Valkyrie home.

"You were a long time in the bathroom." He noted. "Are you okay?"

Valkyrie snapped out of her daydream of her and Skulduggery's earlier rendezvous in the ladies room and looked over at Caelan. "Oh… oh yes. I'm fine."

"You looked a little flustered too."

"Trust me, I'm fine."

They were driving up a dark lane and saw a police car parked up on the road ahead. Next to it was a gleaming black Bentley.

"That's Skulduggery's car." Valkyrie noted.

Caelan look faintly disgusted. "I thought _he_ lived on the reservation."

"He does. Which means something bad has happened. Pull over; I want to see what's going on."

"I'd rather not go anywhere near the skeleton if it's all the same to you, thank you very much." He said overly-huffily.

"Stop the car." She ordered, putting her hand on his that was on the gearstick. A chill rippled through her and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Caelan, you're _freezing!_"

"So what? It's cold out." He said, sharply.

"Yes but it's warm inside. What's happened to you? Has someone done something to you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being ridiculous. Stop being so ridiculous." Caelan pulled up beside the Bentley and got out, obviously not saying any more on the matter.

Sighing, Valkyrie got out too. She spotted Skulduggery crouched over something, and her first reaction was her heart speeding up, her cheeks blushing red, her joints melting – turning her into jelly. Her second reaction was her professionalism. This was a crime scene. She was a Sanctuary agent. She had to… _behave_.

She strode over Skulduggery, standing behind him, and from what she could see, he was crouching over was a dead body. The deceased was a man, about in his mid-thirties. He was dressed in grey slacks and a darker grey, impeccably tailored waistcoat over a crisp white shirt. Frowning, knowing she had seen those exact clothes somewhere else before, she rounded Skulduggery and looked down properly at the man.

A scream, raw and inhuman ripped from her throat. She fell to her knees and put her hands either side of the dead man's scarred face.

"Ghastly." She whispered.

Skulduggery looked up at her, his new façade's blue eyes puffy and teary. "Valkyrie," his voice rough and full of raw emotion, "you shouldn't see this. Go home."

Valkyrie realised that she was crying. "What happened? He was with my dad earlier on today. He was fine. _What happened?_

Skulduggery merely turned Ghastly's head to the side, exposing the huge gash in his throat.

Valkyrie's tears fell even harder. "Vampires?"

Skulduggery nodded, his bottom lip quivering slightly. He couldn't bring himself to speak.

Valkyrie looked back at Caelan who was glaring at her with a stony expression. "I don't suppose you know anything about this?" She asked.

"I'm not the one who was responsible for this, if that's what you were insinuating. I've been with you the whole night."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." She snapped. "I'm asking if you knew who did this."

"Why would I?"

Skulduggery looked up at him with a deadly look. "You're a filthy, disgusting, evil _vampire_. You all stick together."

Caelan returned his glare. "Not me and my family. We stay away from other Vampires."

"You really expect me to believe that crap?"

"No, not really. I don't expect you to believe a word I say. Why should you?"

"Why should I, indeed?"

"Because you have no proof."

Skulduggery slowly rose to his feet. "Doesn't mean I can't shoot you for pissing me off."

Caelan arched an eyebrow at him. "You _do_ know that can't kill me right?"

"Of course I know that. But it would make me feel better."

"Feel better for _what_?" _Caelan_ snorted. "_I_ didn't kill the corpse."

"THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Skulduggery thundered. "NOT JUST A CORPSE!"

Caelan shrugged. "Either way, he's a dead man now."

"CAELAN!" Valkyrie gave him an acidic look.

"YOU DIE NOW!" Skulduggery roared and lunged at the boy.

"SKULDUGGERY, NO!" Valkyrie shrieked and jumped in the way of him and Caelan.

"Move." Skulduggery ordered.

"No." She said, stubbornly.

"I said _move_."

"And I said _no._"

"Why are you _protecting_ him?" He snapped.

"I'm not! I'm protecting you! You're better than this!"

"You don't know that.

"Yes I do."

Skulduggery pulled out his gun and aimed it at Caelan, over Valkyrie's shoulder. "This may not kill you, boy, but it will disable you long enough for me to throw you into a river."

"Skulduggery, put the gun down." Valkyrie ordered, firmly.

"Valkyrie, get out the way and let me finish the little shit off."

"No."

"NOW!"

"NO!"

He looked at her, eyes blazing, tears threatening to fall. "His kind _killed_ my best friend!"

"You can't kill one innocent person for his species actions."

Why the Hell not?"

"Because I'm asking you not to."

"Valkyrie…"

Valkyrie took hold of his hand that was holding the gun and moved it so that it was aiming straight into her chest. "If you still want to shoot, go for it."

Skulduggery recoiled, the thought of even aiming the gun at her disgusting him. "Fine." He muttered putting it away. He looked over at Caelan. "But this is your final warning. If anything like this happens again, you _and_ your family will pay – even if it wasn't you who did it."

Caelan said nothing, he just looked at Skulduggery defiantly.

Skulduggery looked down at Ghastly. "I have a best friend to burry anyway."

"Skulduggery…" Valkyrie said softly.

"It's okay." He muttered. "I'm fine."

"Let me help." She offered.

He looked back at her, tears streaming down his temporary cheeks. Valkyrie was so shocked at seeing Skulduggery baring his emotions, she almost forgot Caelan was standing right behind her, and nearly ran up to Skulduggery and kissed away his pain. But she held herself in check.

"I just want to be alone." He whispered.

Valkyrie nodded. "Okay." She turned to Caelan and nodded at his car. "Let's go."

Caelan turned and strode back to his car, getting inside. Valkyrie slowly followed, getting inside the passenger seat. She looked out the window at Skulduggery. She saw him, kneeling on the ground beside Ghastly, his head bowed to his dead friend's torso, his gloved hands clutching onto his waistcoat, sobbing into his chest.

**R.I.P. Ghastly Bespoke :'(**

**I'll update soon!**

**(((HUGS)))**

**xoxo**


	15. The Truth At Last

**Here is another update for you all :)**

**Warning: It gets a bit cheesy in this chapter! LOL ;)**

**Also, there is one instance of bad language used!**

**Enjoy**

Valkyrie lay in her bed, tossing and turning, her mind racing. She was summing up everything she knew about Caelan. He was different. He wasn't the vampire he'd always been. He'd _changed._ Sighing, not able to stand not knowing any longer, she got out of bed and walked over to her desk, dropping down sleepily in the chair. She turned her computer on.

Once it had actually come to life, she pulled up an internet page and typed in everything she had learned about Caelan in the search bar:

_Vampire_

_Pale_

_Ice cold_

_Eyes change colour_

_Mind reading_

_Fast_

_Strong_

It was a long shot, but _someone_ had to know something. She trawled through pages of gothic-vampire-romance-novel rubbish before she actually came across something promising. She saw a link called _"Why Vampires Change"_ and promptly clicked upon it. She began to read the article:

_Vampires are not just the savage beasts we think they are. There are many types of vampires. There is the classic kind of vampire – those who look normal during the day, but when the sun goes down, they rip off their skin they become the snarling, merciless, killing machines that they really are. But there is another kind of vampire, a clan that many don't know about. They are pale, ice cold, super-fast, super-strong, their eyes may change colour depending on their diet, and they can have a range of special powers, including seeing the future, mood changing and even mind reading. They are nicknamed the Twi-pires. If you come across this type of vampire, you should aim to get away from them as fast as possible. They always kill those who are closest to them first._

Valkyrie stared at the computer screen in horror. "Oh… _shit_."

The next day, Valkyrie waited for him by her truck. Her hands twitched with anticipation as the adrenaline pulsed through her. She knew she shouldn't be scared – this was only Caelan after all. He was supposed to be her friend. Besides, she was a Sanctuary Agent, trained in all types of martial arts and magical powers. She could take on a vampire – a _Twi-pire_… couldn't she?

She knew she should have called Skulduggery. She shouldn't be taking this on alone, but he had enough on his plate right now. He had a best friend to mourn. So she was doing this alone. She was confronting Caelan _alone_.

She saw him drive into the school parking lot in his silver Volvo. He parked in his usual spot and got out. Like he could feel her staring at him, he looked over at Valkyrie, his expression stony.

"We need to talk." She mouthed at him.

He simply nodded.

Valkyrie turned on her heel and walked in the opposite direction to him. She headed for the forest tree-line at the edge of the school, knowing he was following her. She paused at the start of the forest, taking a deep breath and calming her nerves before entering. She only walked in for a few minutes, just to be out of the view of others before stopping. She waited for him.

Minutes later, he emerged from the trees, standing behind her. She didn't turn. She knew that if she looked at him she would chicken out. So instead, Caelan came right up behind her, so close his breath tingled her neck, making her tremble in fear.

"You have some explaining to do." She said, trying not to let her voice shake.

"What do you want me to explain?" He asked simply.

She sighed. "Okay, let me get you started. You're pale white and ice cold, your eyes change colour, you're super strong and fast, you can read minds, and sometimes you talk like you're not even a real vampire anymore. You've changed. I know what you've become."

"Say it." He snarled, next to her ear. "Out loud. _Say it!"_

Valkyrie closed her eyes and whispered, "Twi-Pire."

"Well, then, there you have it! I'm a Twi-pire! Happy now?"

"Not really."

"Well, Valkyrie? Go ahead. Ask me the most basic question you can think of. How have I changed?"

She turned to face him. "Not just how, Caelan. But _why_?"

"Because I'm less at risk of hurting anyone if I'm like this!" He snapped. "I didn't want to be a monster anymore. So I tracked down a clan of Twi-pires and they invited me into their home. I'm a Sullen now."

"How did you change?" She asked.

"Dark magic from Necromancers. They flooded my veins with some kind of chemical. I don't know how it changed me, but it did. I'm a Twi-pire now."

"So, if you wanted to be a better person, why do you still hunt humans?"

"I don't." He grumbled. "I hunt animals. All of the Sullens do. But that doesn't mean I still don't have cravings for human blood."

Valkyrie gulped. "You don't scare me, Caelan."

He stepped closer to her, his head bowed to hers, his fringe tickling her forehead. "You look pretty scared."

"Well, I'm not."

Caelan stepped away from her again. "You should be."

He turned from her and took a running jump, springing upwards, landing on a low tree branch. He looked down at her. She walked over to him and jumped, using the air to carry her upwards and perch her on the branch next to him.

"Why did you hate me so much on my first day in biology?" She asked. "I thought we were friends."

"I only hated you for making me want you so much." He sighed. "I've not had one drop of human blood for so long and you almost ruined it. I almost killed you and drank your blood right then and there."

"Why didn't you?" She asked, scared of the answer.

"Because I couldn't imagine a world without you."

"Do you still want to kill me?"

He looked at her, his face not giving away any of his emotions. "Sometimes."

Valkyrie blinked once, digesting this information. "Well, uh, thanks for not killing me… yet."

He outstretched a hand to her. Hesitantly she reached out and took it. He helped her to stand on the branch and pulled her into him. He lifted her so she was on his back.

"Come," he said, "I need to show you something."

"Um, like what?" She asked, warily.

"You need to see what I look like in the sunlight.

And like lightning, they were off. They flew through the trees, Caelan running at the speed of light. Valkyrie clutched on him tightly, absolutely terrified. She could detect from the angle they were running at that they were going uphill. Finally he stopped running and gently set her down on the ground again, steadying her.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." She looked around her. They were in a dense part of the forest. Up head was a small clearing where the constant cloud cover of Forks didn't seem to get to, sunlight filtering in. "Where are we?"

"See that clearing? It's a sun-trap. Most Twi-Pires chose to live in areas that don't get a lot of sunlight so that they don't get seen for what they really are by the humans."

She frowned. "I don't think I understand."

"You will."

Before she could ask any more questions, he was walking away from her, stepping into the clearing, the sunlight hitting him. Undoing his shirt-buttons, he turned to face her, slowly. Valkyrie saw him and gasped. Everywhere the light hit him he sparkled like a thousand diamonds.

"Okay, now I understand." She tried to lighten to mood: "But, hey, look on the bright side. At least you look all pretty and sparkly."

"_Pretty?"_ He repeated, faintly disgusted, doing his shirt back up. "This is the skin of a killer, Valkyrie."

Valkyrie walked out into the clearing to be with him. "But you don't kill anyone anymore."

"But I still want to."

"But you _don't_."

Caelan put his hands on her shoulders and drove her backwards, pushing her back up against a tree. "You have to tell me _exactly_ what you're thinking."

Valkyrie gulped. "Now I'm scared."

His features changed. He looked somewhat hurt. Slowly, he stepped away from her. "Okay." He mumbled.

Valkyrie sighed. She knew what she had to do. This was going to be the performance of her life. She had to pretend to like him. This wasn't just for the sake of winning the bet anymore, but this was now a case of being the Sanctuary Agent that she was and protecting the townspeople of Forks. Caelan was dangerous. He was now some rare species of Vampire, and although he said he didn't hurt people anymore, that didn't necessarily mean she believed him. One of them had killed Ghastly, she knew that much. It was up to her to pretend to like this lunatic of a vampire so that she could take him down. She had her loved ones living here to protect. And so, it looked like she was going to have a vampire romance... again.

"Wait." Valkyrie said. "I'm not scared of you Caelan. I'm scared of _losing_ you. It always feels like you're about to run off and leave me."

His eyes flickered up to her face. "I won't go if you don't want me to."

"Stay." She said, reaching out and gently touching his arm. "Stay with me."

"Okay."He smiled and leant in towards her. "And so, the lion fell in love with the lamb."

Valkyrie laughed. "What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick masochistic lion."

_You're going down, Caelan._ Valkyrie thought to herself as she smiled up at him. _And you won't even suspect a thing!_

**I hope you all liked it :)**

**OH! I've updated the blog if you're interested :)**

**Thanks m'dears 3**

**xoxo**


	16. Caelan The Creeper

**Can you believe we're up to chapter 16 already? :)**

Valkyrie lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling, her thoughts consumed by Skulduggery. Where was he? Was he okay? Was he still mourning? Had he gone off the deep end again? She really worried about him sometimes. He hadn't contacted her since the night of Ghastly's death. He could have at least called her to say he was okay. But no. There was nothing.

Not. One. Thing.

When she heard a noise at her bedroom window, she sat bolt upright, hoping for it to be Skulduggery.

It was not. It was Caelan.

"Caelan?" She asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting outside for a while." He replied. "I guess I've only just finally mustered up the courage to actually come in."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Do you often lurk outside my bedroom window?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Only for the past few…"

"Days?"

"Weeks."

_Creep!_ She thought to herself. However she said, "What made you want to come in?"

He walked over to her and sat down on the bed next to her. "Well… there was something that I just wanted to try. Stay very still."

Painfully slowly, he leaned into her. Valkyrie anticipated his move and went to lean in to kiss him.

"Don't move." He whispered.

She stayed perfectly still, waiting for him. _Just think of Skulduggery!_ She kept telling herself.

Finally his lips tentatively met hers. And then suddenly everything was on fire. Valkyrie may hate him, and she may have been trying to trick him, but nothing took away from the fact he was an amazing kisser – and she was only human.

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her. She let her lips part and his fitted with hers. His tongue traced the inside of her mouth. Her teeth caught his lower lip and she bit down gently, making him moan.

Caelan was suddenly overtaken by passion. He rather roughly pushed Valkyrie back against the bed and kneeled over her. He pinned her arms down above her head and descended upon her, kissing her again, more urgently this time. He kissed her neck and he could feel her blood flush to the surface under her thin, pale skin.

Suddenly he wasn't thinking about kissing her anymore. He was thinking about biting her. About ripping open her neck and draining all the blood from her body. How good it would taste. How quickly he could kill her before she even had time to scream.

He was about to slash her neck open when he came to his senses. He tore himself away from her, flying off her and slamming himself back against the far wall.

"ENOUGH!" He roared.

Valkyrie sat up, appalled by her weakness for the vampire's kiss. He wasn't as expertise as Skulduggery, but he was still good.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, embarrassed.

"I can't ever lose control around you, Valkyrie."

"Maybe you should go."

He shook his head. "No, I'll stay."

_Dammit!_ "Oh… okay."

He walked over to her and sat back down on the bed. "I'll just stay with you for the night. Nothing will happen. I just want to be near you. To hold you."

_Weirdo!_ "Well, here I am."

He wrapped his arms around her, Valkyrie almost jumped at how cold he was.

"You're safe with me." He murmured.

"Oh, goodie."

He lay down on her bed and beckoned for her to lie beside him. Trying not to roll her eyes, she complied. He pulled her close so she was snuggled up to him.

"I'll never hurt you." He murmured into her hair.

_I wish I could say the same for you._ She thought.

**I hope you liked it :)**

**I'll update soooooooooon!**

**xoxo**


	17. Catching Awkward Kisses

**I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I know I haven't updated in aaaaages! You know what Christmas is like! Speaking of which, did you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year? I hope you all did!**

**OOOH! News for all _Tangled_ fans! I have a new story up. It's called _Becoming Flynn Rider_ and it's the story of how little Eugene Fitz-Herbert became Flynn-Rider, escaped the orphanage, rescued Rapunzel, fell madly in love with her and lived happily ever after, etc! Check it out if you're a _Tangled _ fan :)**

**So! Back to the story! Lets start this new year well! I hope you like ths chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

Valkyrie woke up relieved to see that Caelan was gone. She sleepily got out of bed and stretched. She looked over at her mirror and saw that there was a note attached to it. Suspecting the worst she pulled it off, expecting it to be form a certain Twi-pire, but instead she was pleasantly surprised. It read:

_Dear Valkyrie,_

_I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. I've been coming to terms with things. I promise I will be home soon, but not until I'm sure I can face you without breaking down into ridiculous tears. I don't usually face my emotions, so doing this is hard enough as it is, let alone with others seeing my vulnerability. But I digress. I'll be home soon._

_Look after my heart; I've left it with you._

_Love Skulduggery_

Valkyrie smiled at the note. She pressed it to where her heart was and sighed happily. He was okay. Skulduggery was okay. And he still loved her.

There were three things that Valkyrie was absolutely sure of.

One – Skulduggery was a living skeleton.

Two – There was a part of him, and she didn't know how dominant that part of him might be, that could potentially go off the deep end in a situation like this.

And three – She was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him...

Oh yeah, and four – She had a douche-bag vampire falling hopelessly in love with her. Joy.

There was a car horn that sounded outside her window. She frowned and walked over to it. Outside on her drive was Caelan leaning against his silver Volvo. She smiled awkwardly at him and he returned her smile with a dazzling one. He blew her a kiss and Valkyrie felt obliged to send him one back. He pretended to catch her kiss and put it away in his pocket – saving it for later.

Valkyrie tried not to roll her eyes at him and instead held up her hand, indicating she would be down in five minutes. She pulled the curtains and stripped out of her pyjamas. She pulled on a pair of black jeans, a black t-shirt and her green Ireland football jersey. She slipped her feet into a pair of black converse sneakers before running to the bathroom. She scrubbed her face, brushed her teeth and dragged a comb through her long black hair.

She was ready.

She ran downstairs and out of the front door. She spotted Caelan still standing by his Volvo. One moment he was standing there, the next he was a blur, then instantly at her side pulling her into an embrace.

Valkyrie laughed, stiffly. "Can't you at least _try_ to act human? The neighbours might have seen you!"

He shrugged. "I doubt it. So what do you want to do today?"

"Whatever you want."

He grinned devilishly at her. "Why don't you come and meet my family?"

Valkyrie arched an eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"

"Well, why not?"

She shrugged her left shoulder. "I don't know. They just might not like me. I'm not an easily likable person."

Caelan laughed. "So, you're not worried because you'll be in a house full of vampires, but because you think they won't approve of you?"

Valkyrie thought about this for a few moments. Then she nodded. "Pretty much."

He laughed, leading her over to the Volvo. "You'll be fine, trust me."

**I hope you all liked it!**

**Don't forget to check out my new _Tangled_ story: _Becoming Flynn Rider_ :)**

**Until the next update!**

**xoxo**


	18. The Beach House

**Valduggery incoming...**

Just as Valkyrie was getting in the silver Volvo, she got a text from Skulduggery. It read:

_I'm back. Meet me at La Push beach in half an hour?_

_Don't forget, I love you so very much._

_Skulduggery_

_X_

Valkyrie's face lit up at the text. She turned to Caelan. "Um, can we reschedule?"

Caelan frowned at her from the driver's seat. "Why?"

"I've just got a text from dad," Valkyrie lied easily, "he wants me to pick up some groceries."

"Oh," Caelan smiled, "well in that case, I'll drive you to the store."

"No. You won't. He wants me to go to the store over in La Push."

"What? Why?"

Valkyrie wracked her brains desperately. "Um… because that's the only place that sells the beer that he likes."

Caelan's expression fell. "Oh."

"But, hey listen, I'll come over tomorrow – promise. Pick me up in the afternoon."

He nodded, sulkily. "Fine."

Valkyrie smiled at him briefly before getting out of the car. She stood on her drive and watched him drive away. Once he was gone, she ran to her truck and jumped behind the wheel. She put the old truck in gear and sped off her drive, shooting down the road to La Push beach.

He was already there when she arrived, standing on the shore looking out to sea. Valkyrie walked up to stand beside him. He didn't look down at her, but he put an arm around her shoulders. His other arm was cradling an urn to his chest.

"He, Skul." She said gently. She nodded at the urn. "Ghastly."

Skulduggery chuckled softly, sadly. "He'd appreciate that."

"How are you?"

"I've been better."

"You didn't have to come back so soon."

"I missed you too much while I was away."

Valkyrie smiled and encircled both her arms around his torso. "I missed you too. So much."

"Before we do anything," Skulduggery asked, "do you mind if I scatter Ghastly's ashes?"

Valkyrie swallowed a lump that had caught in her throat. "Of course not."

Skulduggery took the urn into both hands and un-screwed the lid. He held it with one hand and used the other to lift the ashes out using the air. Ghastly's ashes rose into the air and out to sea. Once the wind picked up the ashes, Skulduggery let his hand drop and watched as Ghastly was carried out to sea. He screwed the lid back on the urn and crouched down to where the shore was lapping at his shoes. He put the urn in the water and let the waves carry it away.

Skulduggery stood up and cleared his throat.

Valkyrie took his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Not really, no."

"Come here." Valkyrie reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist tight resting his chin on her head. "You know," Valkyrie continued, "you don't have to bottle everything up. I know you don't like showing your emotions, but remember that you don't have to hide anything around me. I love you, Skulduggery."

He pulled away and looked at her. There was something sad about his big empty eye sockets. "Do you really? Do you really love me?"

She reached a hand up to his chin and tilted his head down to face her. She tiptoed up and gently kissed his teeth. "Of course I do. I would dare as much to say that I am _in_ love with you."

He laughed gently. "I don't know why I should ever doubt you, Valkyrie. I know how you feel. I just find it impossible. I'm… I'm…"

She put a finger to his teeth to silence him. "You're my Skeleton Detective. My handsome, kind, sweet, intelligent, arrogant, funny Skeleton Detective. And I wouldn't have you any other way."

Skulduggery tilted his head, sighing softly. "Oh, _God_, I am so in love with you."

Valkyrie smiled, slipping her fingers underneath his collar, activating his façade that covered all of his body. He had dark brown hair and light brown eyes. He smiled down at her brilliantly. She tiptoed up to him again, her lips finding his. She kissed him softly, him returning her tender pecks. It was only when she could taste tears upon her lips did she pull away.

"Skulduggery…?" She whispered.

He looked down at the ground, tears clinging to his long eyelashes. "I'm sorry." He choked out.

She cupped his face in her hands and tilted his head so he was looking at her. "Sorry for what? For crying? Don't be silly."

"I just…" He began but trailed off.

Valkyrie kissed away his tears. "You don't have to hide around me, Skulduggery. Please don't hide around me. I promise to always understand. I promise to never stop loving you."

Skulduggery held her close, burying his face in her hair. "I'm holding you to that."

Valkyrie pulled away so she could smile up at him. "Always."

Skulduggery leaned down to kiss her when it suddenly started pelting down with rain. Valkyrie screamed and clung to Skulduggery who just suddenly couldn't stop laughing. Valkyrie couldn't help it, soaking wet as she was, she started laughing.

"Typical!" She shouted over the roaring of the rain.

"You still look beautiful in the rain."

Valkyrie buried her face in his chest, laughing still.

Skulduggery cupped her face in his hands and brought her gaze up to meet his. "Hey," he smiled at her, "I love you, okay?"

"I love you more." She smiled before reaching up to kiss him again.

Skulduggery scooped her up into his arms and carried her across the sand over to a beach-house not too far away from them. He set her down on the porch kissing her once more. He broke away from her briefly to open the door and let them in, before picking her up again and carrying her inside. He set her down in the living room, both of them shivering.

Valkyrie looked around at the lavishly decorated beach house. "You live here?"

He smiled at here, raindrops clinging to his lips. "I do."

"It's amazing."

"It's got a nice kitchen. Do you want me to make you anything to eat or drink?"

"A cup of tea would be nice."

He nodded. "Okay, sure." He pointed to a hallway leading off at the other side of the room. "Down there is a bathroom. There's a closet inside with some of my spare shirts. You can get changed if you like."

Valkyrie nodded. "Sure. I'll be back soon."

She turned and scampered down the hallway. She found the bathroom easily and shut herself away, locking the door behind her. She eagerly peeled her wet clothes off her, leaving her underwear on, feeling instant relief. There was nothing she could do about her wet hair, so she shrugged and walked over to the closet that was built into the wall. She opened the door and looked at all the crisp white shirts inside. She picked one out and slid it over her head and shoulders. It fit her loosely, covering just the tops of her thighs.

She walked back to the kitchen to find Skulduggery. He handed a huge mug of tea to her. She sipped it and sighed happily.

"I'm just going to get changed." Skulduggery said before kissing her. "I'll be back in a moment."

He left her to finish her tea while he got changed. Valkyrie looked around while she was drinking, admiring Skulduggery's style and taste. When she heard him return she turned and smiled. He was in a dry pair of trousers and a white shirt not tucked in. His hair was still dripping with water. He looked perfect.

Valkyrie put her tea down on the coffee table and walked over to him. Skulduggery took her into his arms, kissing her passionately. Valkyrie snuggled into him, soaking up the warmth that his temporary body gave him.

Skulduggery could feel her trembling against him and looked down at her. "Still cold?"

She smiled. "A little bit."

Laughing, he took her hand. "Come on, I'll show you how to work the shower." He led her back to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. He pulled back the shower curtain and pointed to the dials. "This way for hot, this way for cold, and this button here stops and starts it."

Valkyrie nodded. "Got it."

Skulduggery kissed her once more. In that case, I'll leave you to your shower. Towels are in the cupboard just there. Come find me when you're done, I'll be in the living room." He went to leave but she caught his hand and pulled him back to her. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Yes, Valkyrie."

"Stay with me." She whispered.

**I think you can ALL see where this is going... heh heh...**

**xoxo**


	19. Make Love To Me

**Well, the title says it all, really, doesn't it? Yes this is a Valduggery sexy-time scene - in a shower no less! You will have noticed that I have upped the story's rating to M (sorry any youngling readers out there) so I am not breaking any rules on here - and it's basically just my way of covering my ass, lol!**

**Now, here's where things get serious - which I really do hate. I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't read on here. That's not my job. My only job is to warn you of the content. This is M content, so if you could be somewhat age appropriate when reading this, then that would just be marrrrrvelous! I don't want any young ones out there to get freaked out.**

**You have been warned.**

**Please treat the subject delicately - lord knows _I_ tried to...**

**I think I failed...**

**Anyway! Enjoy the story! And don't forget: M SCENE! Can't stress that enough!**

Skulduggery's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Val?"

"Stay with me." She whispered again, reaching up and teasingly grazed her lips over his. "Don't leave."

Skulduggery had to take a deep breath, keeping his twitching hands by his sides, concentrating hard to keep his temporary blood flow in check. "Val... I don't know. I mean, I know we've talked about this a few times, and this is what this temporary body was for... but it's complicated."

"What's complicated about it?" She pressed herself harder against his body. "Don't you want me?"

Skulduggery had to try even harder to keep his blood flowing steadily around his body. "Of course, I want you. You have no idea how much I want you."

"Oh, I think I do. Either that's your revolver in your pocket, or you're just happy to see me." She nibbled gently on his lower lip, sending shudders through him. "Take me."

Skulduggery couldn't help it when his hand found her hips. "Valkyrie..." He groaned. "Stop trying to distract me..."

"Is it working?" She grinned.

"Shamelessly, yes."

She ran her hands up his chest, unbuttoning his top button. "Then what's the problem?"

Skulduggery paused, biting his lip. "Val... would I be you first?"

Valkyrie blushed. "Um... why?"

"I don't know, it just somehow feels important."

"Well, Skul, if you must know... yeah, you would be."

Skulduggery pouted. "Oh, well now I feel all bad."

She frowned. "Why do you feel bad? So what if I'm a virgin? You're corrupting my innocence, stealing my virtue, flowering my seed, taking my virginity. I'd rather it be you than Caelan or Fletcher – or anyone else for that matter." She held his face in her hands and gently kissed him. "There is only you, Skulduggery. No one else. Only _you_."

Skulduggery smiled. "Fair enough." And he kissed her again.

She laughed against his lips and pressed herself impossibly close to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their lips pressed together with soft determination, caressing each other. Her tongue traced the inside of his mouth. His teeth snagged her lower lip. Their hands wandered, touching, embracing.

Valkyrie raised her arms above her head and Skulduggery slowly pulled his shirt that she was wearing over her head and dropped it to the floor, leaving her standing there in her bra and underwear. He stood there, looking at her, taking the time to appreciate how utterly beautiful she was. Valkyrie began to unbutton his shirt as he undid his belt, letting his trousers fall to the floor. He shrugged out of his shirt, standing before her in his boxers.

Valkyrie tiptoed up and kissed him, her hands going to the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down. At the same time, Skulduggery was undoing her bra, letting it drop to the floor. He pushed her French knickers over her perfect hips, pulling them down.

Skulduggery wrapped his arms around her naked body, not feeling in the slightest bit self-conscious at a woman seeing him nude for the first time in centuries. Instead he felt comfortable. Relaxed. Happy.

Valkyrie kissed his perfectly toned chest, leading the kisses all the way up to his jaw line, reaching his lips. He sighed happily and leaned in to kiss her neck before softly biting on her skin, making her quietly cry out.

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the shower, pulling the curtain around them. He turned on the shower and hot water crashed down onto them both, cascading over their skin. Skulduggery pulled her in close like he never wanted to let her go. He reached in and kissed her neck again, making her skin tingle. He trailed his lips over her collarbone, going lower, directly down her breastbone as she arched her spin backwards, Skulduggery kissing her stomach.

He pulled her back up to him and pushed her against the tiled walls of the shower. He leaned into her and buried his faced in her dripping wet hair and whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She whispered next to his ear. "Please take me."

He pulled away and looked at her. "It may hurt to start off with... but trust me, it gets better."

"I trust you." She murmured. "Just _take me_."

He looked at her, perfection in human form, water running over her body, and he was weak at the knees. He pressed against her, powerless to resist. He started off kissing her softly on the mouth, working his way down, kissing her neck, shoulders, collar bone, stomach, hips and inner thighs. He kissed his way all back up, finding her lips once more. He pressed his hands hard against her skin and ran them down her sides, across her thighs and back up again, the whole experience making her tremble against him. He pressed harder against her, and she grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him into her.

What she wasn't expecting was the sudden, sharp, pang of pain that shot through her, and she couldn't help but cry out painfully, tears springing to her eyes. Skulduggery suddenly looked horrified with himself and went to pull away but she held him to her.

"I'm fine." She insisted.

"I don't want to hurt you." He murmured, softly.

"I'm fine. Make love to me."

"If you ever want me to stop, just say and I promise I'll stop, okay?"

When she nodded, he leaned in again and kissed away her tears of pain and followed her orders, starting off slow and gentle, easing her into it. She winced every time he pressed into her but she began to relax into it, finding her own rhythm with him. Suddenly it wasn't so painful anymore. It began to feel good.

Skulduggery noticed she wasn't hurting anymore and he knew it was the right time to take her to the next level. His pushing became harder and stronger, but still being careful not to hurt her. She knotted her hands into his hair at the back of his head and wrapped her legs tighter around his hips. Elated sighs began to escape her kiss-swollen lips as each movement from Skulduggery became more intense.

Skulduggery clung onto her, not daring to let her go. He was pushing her into the wall, the water running furiously over the both of them, making everything steam up around them, making everything twice as passionate.

Valkyrie buried her face in his neck as the intensity got so much that she could barely even breathe anymore. She cried out, her tone raw, but this time not from pain – from sheer bliss – and she felt herself instantly relax. Skulduggery let out a deep breath that he'd been holding onto for a long time and he too seemed to melt as he almost fell against Valkyrie, panting.

The held each other in a tight embrace, letting the water wash over them. Skulduggery's lips found hers and he kissed her tenderly.

"You are so beautiful." He murmured.

"That was... that was amazing, Skulduggery." She breathed.

"It didn't hurt too much, did it?"

She rested her head against his chest, smiling when she felt him rest his chin on her head. "To begin with it did." She admitted. "But then, I don't know what you did, but it suddenly all got very epic."

He laughed, softly. "Thanks. But I'm sorry I hurt you to start off with."

"Think nothing of it. You most certainly made up for it."

Skulduggery pulled away from her, smiling. He ran his fingers through her wet hair. "God, I love you, Valkyrie Cain."

"I love you too, Skulduggery Pleasant." She whispered before tiptoeing up and kissing him.

**Don't say I didn't warn you!**

**I'll update as soon as I can :)**

**xoxo**


	20. The Morning After

**Hello, little Sparrows! How are you all? I hope you're all well :)**

**Sorry for the delay in updating, I've had monster amounts of collage coursework to do! Damn collage.**

**Anyway! Just quickly going to mention my blog update and my new Tumblr account that I have - the link to both on my profile page - if you want to take a peek :)**

**And now, onto the story!**

Valkyrie smiled as Skulduggery handed her a steaming hot mug of coffee. He leaned down to lightly kiss her lips and she smiled even more. He smiled back, the corners of his light brown eyes crinkling.

"I love you." He murmured, one hand gently stroking her cheek.

"I love you more." She said back, softly, turning her face into his hand.

"Impossible. It's obvious I love you more. I'm letting you wear my best shirt, aren't I?"

Valkyrie looked down at Skulduggery's shirt she was wearing and grinned. "This is your best shirt?"

"Yes."

"Can I keep it?"

Skulduggery frowned. "Why?"

"Because... I like it."

"Yeah, but... it's_ mine_."

She batted her eyelashes at him. "Please?"

He sighed, bowing down to kiss her again. "Fine. It's yours. It looks better on you anyway."

She kissed him back before taking a sip of her coffee. "Thank you." Her mobile resting on the kitchen counter beeped and she picked it up to look at it. She groaned an rolled her eyes. "Oh great."

Skulduggery frowned. "What is it?"

"Caelan. He's reminding me he's coming by my house to pick me up in half an hour. Damn it."

Skulduggery's frown deepened. "Oh, great."

She laughed. "Don't pout."

"I don't like you seeing him."

"Yeah I don't like seeing him either, but something weird is going on with him and being the amazing Detectives that we are, we need to figure it out. I say I get really close to him, reel him in, earn his trust... and then we attack. We can shackle him, lock him up and throw away the key. Sound like a good plan?"

Skulduggery said nothing. He just huffed, quietly.

Valkyrie put down her coffee and mobile and placed her hands on Skulduggery's bare chest, running them up and down his toned torso, feeling him relax instantly at her touch. He encircled his arms around her waist and pulled her close, Valkyrie wound her arms around his neck, tiptoeing up and kissing him.

"Stop sulking." She murmured against his lips. "It's a good plan, and you know it."

"I know." He sighed. "It's just..." He blushed slightly.

Valkyrie saw him blushing and she grinned. "Skulduggery Pleasant! Are you _blushing_?"

"No."

"I think you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, I really think you are."

"Valkyrie..."

"Skulduggery..."

He sighed again. "Alright! Alright! I just... look I... okay, I don't want you to go. I'm going to miss you. Are you happy now?"

Valkyrie's smile was so big she could have been mistaken for a Cheshire Cat. "Yes."

Skulduggery huffed again.

Valkyrie laughed. "And anyway, how could you _possibly_ miss me? I've spent all last night and all morning here. You've had plenty of time with me. Now it's time to share me with the rest of the world."

"But I love you. I like being in your company."

"Skulduggery, you've had my company constantly for the last God knows how many hours."

He laughed. "Yeah I guess you're right."

"You had my company in the shower, the bedroom, the living room, the balcony, the kitchen..."

"Yeah, okay, point made."

"Speaking of which, I'd probably give the worktops a wash down if I were you..."

Skulduggery laughed again. "Oh God, did you ever think it would come to this?"

"What, with you and me, cuddling in your defaced kitchen, me pick-pocketing your best shirt?"

"Yeah that."

She smiled and kissed him again. "Yeah, actually, I think I did."

**There you go, some Valduggery cuteness for you all :)**

**Don't forget to check out my blog and Tumblr page if you want :)**

**MWAH!**

**xoxo**


	21. Meet The Sullens

**Just a quick update :)**

**Don't forget to check out my blog - I've updated it :)**

Valkyrie stood at the end of her driveway, shivering in the cold. She was wearing faded black skinny jeans, and Skulduggery's loose-fitting shirt over the top with a black chunky belt brought in around her waist, making the shirt look fashionable on her, underneath a black jacket. Her hair had been pulled back into a pony tail and she wore black converse, to continue on with her 'casual' look.

Caelan pulled up onto her drive in his silver Volvo. Pulling a fake smile onto her face, she walked over and got in the passenger side. Caelan smiled at her and pulled her into a tender kiss.

"Hello, Val."

"Hey, Caelan."

"You look beautiful."

"I always do."

Caelan's eyebrows tugged together. "Wait. Is... is that Skulduggery's shirt?"

"Um," Valkyrie said, trying to keep her cool, "yeah, actually it is."

"Why are you wearing Skulduggery's shirt?"

"He leant it to me a long time ago. I never got round to giving it back. It's comfortable, I like wearing it." She lied easily.

Caelan's frown deepened. "Do... do you wear a lot of Skulduggery's things?"

Valkyrie sighed. "Caelan, really?"

He shrugged. "What? Just want to know."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing _what_ again?"

She rolled her eyes. "Getting all protective."

His jaw clenched. "No I'm not. I was just curious."

"Then why are you having a period over it? For God's sake, Caelan, just drive."

"But, Val–"

"Do you want me to meet your family today or not?" She asked, sharply.

"Well, yes..."

"Then drive! Just go!"

Caelan sighed and pulled onto the road. They drove to Caelan's house in silence.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

They pulled onto Caelan's drive. Valkyrie looked out the window at the huge house before her and gasped. It was more of a mansion than a house.

Caelan reach over and took her hand in his. Valkyrie turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you." He murmured softly. "I shouldn't have done that."

Valkyrie smiled. "It's fine really."

"I love you."

Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Oh crap."

"Pardon?"

"I said... I love you too, Caelan."

His face lit up. "You do?"

"Of course I do." She said stiffly. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, would I?"

"We were destined to be together, Valkyrie."

She sighed. "Of course we are. Now let's go."

She got out and Caelan joined her, at her side in a second. He walked her to the front door and let her inside. No surprises, the inside of his house was as lovely as the outside, extravagantly decorated.

"Not what you expected, right?" Caelan asked her with a smile.

"Not at all."

"What _were_ you expecting? Coffins? Tombstones? Motes?"

Valkyrie laughed. "Not the motes."

"Cute." Caelan nodded. "Very, very cute. Come on, I want you to meet my family."

Caelan led Valkyrie to his kitchen where four members of his family stood, making dinner. They each looked Valkyrie's way when she entered and three out of four of them smiled warmly at her.

"Valkyrie," Caelan said, "I'd like to introduce you to my all-intents-purposes mother and father, Emma and Carmichael."

Emma smiled at me. "Hello, Valkyrie, dear."

Carmichael smiled too. "We're so glad to have you here."

Caelan gestured to his brother and sister. "And I do believe you have seen Rita and Edgar around school?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Nice to finally meet you properly."

"Likewise." Edgar nodded.

"Mmm-hmm." Rita, the only one who was not smiling, said, not looking at her.

Emma was quick to change the subject. "We're just making diner for you, Valkyrie. A typical Irish dish – sausage and potato coddle."

Valkyrie's face fell. "Oh... oh, I'm sorry. I've already eaten. I'm so sorry."

"Well, that's just _perfect_!" Rita hissed, the bowl she was holding smashing in her iron grip.

Valkyrie looked down at the floor. "It's just... I know you guys don't eat, so..."

"It's okay." Carmichael said, reassuringly. "That was very thoughtful of you to think of us."

There was a sound behind them and as Valkyrie turned to see what it was, someone was throwing their arms around her.

"Ali." Caelan warned. "Control yourself."

Caelan's other sister, Ali, pulled away. "Whoops, sorry!" She giggled. "Wow, Caelan was right, you _do_ smell good!"

"Ali..." Caelan growled.

Someone appeared from over Ali's shoulder. "Hello!" He said brightly.

"And, Val, this is Joseph." Caelan introduced her. "Another brother of mine."

"Um... hello." Valkyrie said, sheepishly.

"Corr, get a whiff of that human!" Joseph exclaimed.

"Okay!" Caelan said, embarrassed. "I think I will be taking Valkyrie on a tour of the house now." He grabbed Valkyrie's hand, leading her away. He whispered into her ear "Let's get you away from this lot."

Valkyrie looked over her shoulder and waved at them. "See you in a bit."

They all waved back apart from Rita. Once Caelan and Valkyrie were out of sight, they began to talk in hushed tones.

"Oh, she's sweet." Emma smiled. "I just hope Caelan doesn't eat her."

**I'll update A.S.A.P. :)**

**xoxo**


	22. Hold On Tight SpiderMonkey

**Dear Little Sparrows, since you all asked so nicely...**

**Here you go :)**

Caelan opened the large oak door in front of them, and led Valkyrie inside.

"And this is _my_ room." He smiled at her.

Valkyrie looked around. It was large and spacious; a sofa pushed up against one wall, a TV and games system against another, one whole wall lined with shelves full of hundreds of CD's.

"No bed?" Valkyrie asked.

Caelan looked at her sheepishly. "Uh, no I don't sleep."

Valkyrie arched an eyebrow at him. "Not ever?"

"No, not at all."

"Well, that's… interesting." She quickly changed the subject. "Wow, you have a lot of music."

He nodded. "I've acquired it over the years."

She walked over to the stereo in the corner and turned it on. "Let's see what you're listening to."

Classical music started to play and Caelan physically cringed.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "That's _Debussy_."

Valkyrie nodded. "_Clair De Lune_, I know. Don't be embarrassed, it's not that bad."

This made Caelan smile. He held his hand out to her, and Valkyrie grudgingly took it. He pulled her close to him and held her in a waltz stance.

Valkyrie frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

"Dancing with you."

"Um… why?"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to dance with you." She regretted saying it the moment she did and had to resist the urge to face-palm herself.

Caelan's face fell. "Why not?"

"Because… I can't dance…" Valkyrie lied, trailing off.

The corners of Caelan's mouth curled upwards into a grin. "Well… I could always… _make_ you…?"

Valkyrie snorted. "You don't scare me, pretty boy."

"Oh, you _really_ shouldn't have said that."

Before Valkyrie could even question him, he hand latched onto her hands, pulled her onto his back and was leaping out of the open window with her. They flew like lightening to the nearest tree outside, Valkyrie clinging onto Caelan for dear life.

Caelan looked over his shoulder at her. "Do you trust me?"

Valkyrie gulped. "In theory..."

"Then you better hold on tight, spider-monkey."

And then he was off again, jumping and flying through the trees, Valkyrie clinging onto him, screaming the whole entire time. She squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them, she and Caelan were standing on a tree branch hundreds of feet above the ground. Valkyrie gasped and clung onto Caelan – undoubtedly the response he was looking for.

"This is insane." Valkyrie muttered.

"Not in my world." Caelan countered.

"Caelan,I _live _in your world, and even _I _think this is weird."

Her phone beeped and she got it out and looked at it, a smile springing onto her lips. It read:

_When the Vampire has done boring you to death want to meet me at the beach house? I miss you. And don't you dare smile at that! Let me know._

_Don't forget, I love you._

_Skulduggery_

_xoxo_

"Who's that from?" Caelan asked suspiciously.

Valkyrie quickly shoved her phone back in her pocket. "Um… Dad. He wants me to come home."

Caelan sighed. "Your father doesn't like me, does he?"

"My dad doesn't like _any_ boys."

"Especially me."

"Especially _everyone_, Caelan. Now will you take me home please?"

Caelan sighed again. "As you wish."

**Now, this is where I nedd your help! Valkyrie is going to the beach house to meet Skulduggery. What do you want to happen? Give me some ideas...**

**Much love!**

**xoxo**


	23. Taking The Plunge

**This proved to be a popular idea amongst the lot of you, so I went with it :)**

**Enjoy!**

Caelan had driven Valkyrie back to her house, not letting her go before she promised to meet up with him tomorrow. Once he had finally driven away, Valkyrie gave it a few moments before she hooped into her truck and pulled away, speeding in the direction of La Push beach.

…

Skulduggery opened the front door to Valkyrie before she even had the chance to knock. Suddenly she was being pulled into his arms and his false lips were crushing against hers. She pulled away laughing and took in the façade he was wearing today. Blonde tousled hair and sparkling blue eyes set on slightly sun-kissed skin. He grinned at her and it melted her heart.

He took her by both her hands and led her inside. It was an unusually sunny day outside and the light was shining in through the wall-sized windows, illuminating everything inside the house.

Skulduggery pulled her close to him and kissed her again, more softly this time. "I love you." He murmured as he pulled away, his irresistible smile popping up again.

"I love you too."

"Wait here, I have a surprise for you ." He said with a flash of his perfectly white teeth. He kissed her hand. "I'll be right back."

He reluctantly let go of her and turned, jogging away. He returned moments later holding onto a picnic basket with a white and red checked blanket folded on top of it.

"A picnic?" Valkyrie asked, grinning.

"Out on the beach, if you're up for it?"

"Yeah, of course I am." She took his hand. "Let's go."

The walked out onto the beach, stopping near the shore. It was deserted out here, so it was like they had the whole beach to themselves. Skulduggery pulled the picnic blanket off the top of the blanket and laid it flat out on the sand for them to both sit on. They sat down and Skulduggery began to pull out the contents if the basket, presenting Valkyrie with sandwiches, cupcakes, a salad pot, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, pastries, slices of sponge cake, shortbread, and cartons of different flavoured fruit juices.

"You've outdone yourself." Valkyrie said, looking at all the food. "How am I supposed to eat all this myself?"

"I don't think you'll have any trouble." He flashed her his brilliant smile.

"Are you insinuating that I like to eat a lot?"

"No of course not." He shook his head, solemnly. "I'm insinuating that you have a big mouth."

"Yeah, well, play your cards right and this big mouth might be put to some good use." When he arched an eyebrow at her she simply said, "Take that as you will."

Valkyrie said no more and tucked into her food, grabbing a plastic plate and putting one of everything on it. When she had cleaned her plate off she went in for a second and third round, polishing off three cartons of juice with it.

Finally full, she flopped back down onto the blanket and smiled happily.

"That was yummy." She sighed.

He lay down beside her, propping himself up slightly on his elbows. "Told you, you could eat it all – well, most of it. I don't know where you put it all."

She shrugged and patted her slender stomach. "Who knows? I must have a fast metabolism."

He reached a hand over to her so he could trace the contours of her cheek bone with one finger. "So, Miss Cain, what do you want to do now?"

"How about a dip in the sea?" She asked.

"You're not supposed to swim for at least an hour after you eat."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, actually, I wasn't suggesting that we should go _swimming _exactly…"

It took a few moments for him to understand what she meant. "Oh. _Oh!_"

"Yeah." She laughed. _"That."_

"What if we get caught?"

"I'm not worried."

He laughed and scooped her up into his arms. He set her down by the shore and kissed her tenderly. Valkyrie took off his hat and threw it aside. She got to work on his tie, loosening it, pulling it from around his collar. Laughing, she looped it around the back of his neck and pulled him in close for another kiss.

He pulled away laughing and shrugged out of his suit jacket. Valkyrie went to pull her t-shirt over her head but it got caught, and laughing even harder, Skulduggery helped her pull it off. He smoothed her tangled hair back down for her, and kissed her nose. Her fingers reached forward and she unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it back off his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor.

She let out a low whistle at the sight of his slightly-bronzed, perfectly toned torso. Not wanting to wait any longer, Valkyrie kicked off her shoes and socks, slipped off her trousers and turned, running straight into the waves in her lacy black matching bra underwear.

Skulduggery grinned at her, not wanting to waste any time. He whipped off the rest of his clothes – all but his boxers – and chased after her.

Valkyrie stopped when the water was at her thighs, wrapping her arms around herself. "It's _freezing_ in here!" She shrieked, half-laughing.

A huge wave sneaked up behind her and crashed over her, coming up to her shoulders. She screamed, looking down at her drenched body. Skulduggery almost toppled over laughing at her.

"Oh? Think that's funny?" She asked.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"Hmm, we'll see."

She raised both arms into the air and thrust them out at Skulduggery, a huge wave rising up at her command and crashing into him. Skulduggery instantly stopped laughing and looked at her in disbelief. Suddenly he broke into a grin, saltwater clinging to his lips.

"Touché." He grinned and lunged at her.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her underwater with him. She squirmed and wriggled her way out of his arms and broke the surface again, Skulduggery appearing beside her.

"You are so dead!" she laughed.

"Bring it on."

Valkyrie jumped on him, pushing down on his shoulders, pushing them both under. Skulduggery pulled her close under the water and lightly pressed his lips to hers. They rose to the surface together, still locked in a tight embrace. He broke off the kiss and swept the wet hair off her face.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered.

"Enough." She murmured, her lips grazing his. "I want you. Now."

With a smile, he cupped her face in his hands and brought her lips to meet his again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. He ran his hands down her back, sending shivers down her spine. His hands continued travelling down, finding her thighs. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips. She squeezed her legs tighter around him, like she never wanted to let go.

He laughed against her lips and moved his hands, sliding them up her sides and around her back, reaching for the clasp on her bra-strap. Suddenly he paused, becoming rigid against her. He broke the kiss and when Valkyrie opened her eyes to look at him, she saw his face was twisted in a mixture of annoyance and fury.

She smoothed out his frown, which looked so odd on his facade's soft features, with her thumb. "What's wrong? Skulduggery?"

"We have company." He said through gritted teeth, letting her slip from his hips, keeping his hands on her waist so she wouldn't fall over in the sea.

Valkyrie looked over at the shore, seeing the dark figure watching them intently, and it took all she had to not throw a fire-ball straight at his head.

"Caelan." She hissed. She went to walk over to him, but Skulduggery stopped her. "What is it?" She asked him.

"I don't want you to go with him. He'll be mad. He'll be unstable. It's not safe for you."

"Skulduggery, remember the plan. He has to believe I trust him. He has to be unaware for when we take him down."

He frowned at her. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't." She refrained from smoothing out his frown again. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

He sighed, heavily. "Okay. Fine. Call me later so I know you're okay." He went to lift his hand to her cheek, but he forced himself not to move.

_I love you_, She mouthed to him.

_I love you too._

She turned and waded out of the sea, back to Caelan. He was glaring at her. They both said nothing.

Caelan took off his jacket and slung it around Valkyrie's shoulders. He snatched up her clothes, turned, and stalked away, back to his car.

"Come, Valkyrie." He snapped. "We're leaving."

Valkyrie sighed miserably and followed.

**Hope you liked!**

**Check out my new SkulPles story: "What An Odd Pair!" - Only if you want to, of course :)**

**Toodles Noodles!**

**xoxo**


	24. Caelan's True Colours

**Sorry for the delay in updating, but I hope this makes up for it :)**

Valkyrie and Caelan drove back to Forks in complete silence. Valkyrie had dried off and changed back into her clothes in the back seat, and now she had clambered back into the passenger seat. She looked over at Caelan and physically cringed away from him. His expression could have been carved in stone. His eyes were narrowed, focused on the road ahead. His mouth was set in a hard, straight line. His hands clenched the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white.

Valkyrie sighed. He was pissed at her.

They pulled into Valkyrie's driveway and sat in awkward silence for a few moments. Finally Caelan spoke.

"I forgive you." He said, solemnly.

"Oh." She nodded. "Oh, right. How big of you."

"I forgive you because I love you, Valkyrie."

"Is that right?"

"Our love transcends the meaningless."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "And you're calling Skulduggery meaningless, are you?"

He nodded. "Yes. He means nothing to you. I am all you will ever need."

Both of her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "And you're willing to bet your _life_ on that, are you?"

"Of course I am. You love me."

She sighed. "So you keep saying, Caelan."

"I know you do." He continued. "I understand why you did what you did today. You're young. Reckless. Stupid."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You make mistakes – of course you do, you're still a baby. You went to him because you were bored. You wanted to lash out. You wanted to rebel against me, your one true love, because that is what's in your nature."

She snorted. "Who died and made you head psychiatrist?"

He sighed heavily, sadly. "Oh, Valkyrie, when will you learn? You must put all this childishness behind you and grow up. You must stop playing the fool. I love you, but I will not tolerate any more mistakes from you."

"Oh, is that so?" Valkyrie asked, her temper quickly rising.

"It is." He nodded. "Otherwise, I'm afraid there will be consequences."

"Please, Caelan." She hissed. "Enlighten me."

He smiled his devastatingly gorgeous smile. "Let's not ruin the moment shall we?" He leaned in for a kiss.

Valkyrie laughed scornfully. "Caelan, I really think that you should go and _fuck yourself!"_ She roughly shoved him away from her. She went to get out but he grabbed onto her wrists, stopping her. She glared at him. "Let me go, Caelan."

"You do _not_ speak to me in such a manner, girl!" He snarled in her face.

"I said let me go!"

"Apologise for your behaviour!"

"Fuck you!"

He glowered at her and drew back his fist, swinging it round to connect with her face. His knuckles smashed into her cheek and he clamped his hand over her mouth before she could cry out. The moment tears sprang to her eyes he gasped and drew back, shying away from her. Valkyrie just sat there, pressed against the door, leaning as far away from him as possible, shaking.

"Valkyrie," he whispered, tears clinging to his long eyelashes, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He leaned forward and gently caressed her cheek where he had hit her. "Please don't be scared of me, I didn't mean to strike you."

She said nothing, she just nodded, her trembling completely out of control.

"Oh! I know!" He said, suddenly bright and cheerful. "Let's make it up to you! I'll take you out tomorrow! We can play baseball with my family, how does that sound?"

Valkyrie just barely nodded.

"I'll pick you up at three." He leaned forward and kissed her bruised cheek. "I love you." He whispered.

"Okay." She croaked, fumbling with the door handle. She managed to let herself out and walked away from the car.

Caelan sped off her drive and into the darkness as she let herself inside her house. Her dad wasn't home – to which she was glad. She ran up to her room and slammed the door behind her. She wrapped her arms around herself and slid down the door, sitting on her floor. Her shaking hands went to her pocket to get out her phone and she dialled Skulduggery's number.

"Hello, Darling." His velvety voice answered.

"Skulduggery?" She whimpered.

He detected the upset in her tone immediately. "Valkyrie? What is it? What's wrong?"

She couldn't help bursting into tears. "Can you come over please?"

"Val, what's the matter?"

"Please come over. Please, I don't want to be alone. Please, I need you here."

"Of course." He said softly, trying to hide his worry. "I'll be right there."

"Thank you." She whispered and hung up.

**Prepare for Valduggery cuteness next up :D**

**xoxo**


	25. Distractions

**Ta-da! Update time :)**

**Enjoy!**

Valkyrie heard the familiar rapping upon her window – their code knock – and she knew Skulduggery was outside. She jumped up from the floor and rushed over to pull back her curtains and let him in, but she suddenly paused, scared and not sure why.

Who was she kidding? She knew why she was scared. Skulduggery would go mental over this. He would go after Caelan. She knew she shouldn't have called him round – she knew it. But she just didn't want to be alone right now. She needed him. She needed him to hold her in his arms, and stroke her hair, and whisper soothing comforts to her.

And then suddenly she was rushing to open the window. She drew back her curtains, and even the sight of him, gleaming while skull in the moonlight, was enough to make her weak at the knees. She let him in and within seconds he was holding her tightly, protectively, in his strong, bony arms.

"Valkyrie." He breathed into her soft hair. "What is it? What's wrong? Why did you call me over?"

She sighed and pulled away from him, showing him her cheek. He went completely rigid upon seeing her blackened, bruised skin.

"What did he do to you?" He hissed, his voice deadly quiet.

She sighed again. "He... he just... sort of... hit me."

"He just _sort of hit you_?"

"Yeah, it's fine, it just hurts a little."

"Valkyrie, it looks like he tried to take half of your face off!" He paused. "Where is he now? I'll kill him."

"No." Valkyrie said firmly. "No, you won't."

"Valkyrie," he growled, "he _struck_ you."

"Lots of people hit me, Skulduggery. Wreath kicked me in the face before, but I got over it."

He tilted his head at her in bafflement. "How... how can you act like this is nothing?"

"Because it _is_ nothing."

"The boy thinks he's in a relationship with you, yet he also thinks it's okay to batter you around at the same time? Valkyrie he..." Skulduggery's voice almost cracked. "He _hurt_ you."

"I've been hurt before."

"Yeah, and now _I'm_ going to go and hurt _him_." He turned to leave but she grabbed onto his arm and stopped him.

"Skulduggery..." She pleaded with him. "_Please_."

He looked at her. "You know, _really_ need to stop doing that."

"Doing _what_?"

"Assuming I'll be the good guy just because it's _you_ who is asking."

"Skulduggery, you _are_ the good guy."

"Not when I can help it."

She reached out her hands to his and their fingers laced together. She pulled him to her, slowly. "Stay." She murmured. "Look after me."

His jaw clenched. "Valkyrie, stop it."

She ran her hands up his arms. "Stay with me." She rested her arms on his torso, her fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. "I can think of better ways for you to spend your time rather than chasing after Caelan."

"Valkyrie..." He moaned, trying his hardest to stay objective.

She tiptoed up and kissed his jaw line, making him shudder. "I wonder how much your skeleton form can feel..."

His hands twitched at his sides where he longed to take her by the waist and hold her against him. "Stop it." He muttered. "Just stop, okay?"

She slid her hands down his chest, un-tucking his shirt and reaching her hands up until she felt his ribs. She ran her fingers along the insides of his ribcage and he gasped and trembled. "How does that feel?" She asked, her voice soft and smooth.

"Don't." He murmured, his voice shaking.

"Why? Does it feel bad?"

"No."

"Then why do you want me to stop?"

"You're trying to distract me."

"Is it working?" She asked, running her hand down the inside of his spine.

His back arched and he let out a low moan. "Valkyrie..." He whispered. "Please..." But this time, it was not in protest.

She drew her hands back and instead reached them up to his collar bones, activating his all-over façade. She wound her arms around his neck, his hands finally finding her waist, and she tiptoed up again, pressing her lips to his, softly. When he pulled away, he put a gloved hand under her chin and tilted her head so he could look at her bruised cheek.

"That looks so painful." He murmured, softly.

"I'll take a bath with some healing crystals later and I'll be fine."

He leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. "I promise I won't ever let him hurt you again."

"You don't always have to feel responsible when I get hurt. Caelan did this to me; he's the one that should feel bad, not you. You are not allowed to feel his guilt, okay?"

He smiled sadly, and nodded. "Okay."

"Good." She murmured and pulled him back into the kiss.

**Hope you all liked it :)**

**xoxo**


	26. Let's Play Ball!

**Sorry for not updating in so long! You all have permission to boo and hiss at me as much as you like - I'll understand ;)**

**Enjoy the story!**

Valkyrie walked down her drive to the silver Volvo waiting at the end of it, trying to control her shaking. She didn't like to admit it, but she was scared of him. Caelan had hit her, proving he was still out of control around her. She knew that Skulduggery was at her bedroom window, watching over her, making sure she was safe, but her hands were still trembling.

She got inside the car and sat down trying to act as normal as possible. Caelan looked at her and smiled brightly, seeming to either not notice or just ignore the huge bruise on her cheek that he had given her. She hadn't had time to use some of her healing crystals last night in the bath to make it fade away. She and Skulduggery had been… busy.

He leaned over and kissed her on her bruised cheek – almost rubbing it in her face how he had so easily been able to hurt her – and pulled back, still smiling cheerfully.

"Hello, love." He purred.

"Morning, Caelan." She replied, cursing herself for answering so stiffly.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Where are we going?"

"Valley Park." He grinned at her. "To play baseball."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Vampires play baseball?"

"No, but Twipires do. Plus, it _is_ the American pastime. Seatbelt."

She did as she was told, putting on her seatbelt as he pulled out of her drive. As he sped down the road, she sent a text to Skulduggery saying:

_He's taking me to Valley Park to play baseball with his family._

_Please follow us; I don't want to be alone with him._

_Stay inconspicuous._

_I love you._

_xoxo_

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Valkyrie got out of the Volvo, rejecting Caelan's help to get her out and also rejecting his hand when they walked across the field to meet his family. They were all there, decked out in old fifties-style baseball clothing: the mother and father for all-intents-purposes, Emma and Carmichael, and the brothers and sisters, Rita, Edgar, Ali and Joseph. They all greeted her with an eerily symmetrical, perfect smile and wave, and it all reminded Valkyrie of _The Stepford Wives_.

"Hello, Valkyrie." They all said in unison.

"You're all robots." Valkyrie muttered to herself.

"What was that, dear?" Emma asked.

"Oh, nothing." Valkyrie smiled at her as sweetly as she could.

"Wonderful!" Carmichael said, clapping his hands together. "Now that we're all here, let's play ball!"

Emma looked at Valkyrie. "Dear, would you like to be the Umpire?"

Valkyrie frowned. "Why can't I play?"

"Well, we Twipires play baseball a little differently to you humans. Besides, the boys cheat, and I need you to keep an eye on them."

There was lightening above them, accompanied by a crack of loud thunder.

Ali smiled. "Thunder! It's time to play!"

Valkyrie looked back at Emma. "Why do you need thunder to play?"

Emma smiled. "You'll see."

And so the game began. Valkyrie quickly saw why they needed the thunder. Every time they hit the ball, the sound that resonated from the contact was so loud they needed the thunder to cancel it out. However Valkyrie quickly lost interest in the game. She wasn't playing, and she therefore wasn't attentive. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her pocket to see a text from Skulduggery saying:

_I'm here. I'm by the nature reserve._

_You won't be able to see me but I have a good view of all of you._

_I can keep you safe._

_I love you too._

_xoxo_

Valkyrie looked over at the nature reserve on the other side of the field and although she couldn't see him, just knowing he was there gave her a huge source of comfort. Her attention was drawn suddenly back to the game when she heard Ali yelp. All eyes fell to her.

"Sister," Caelan said, "what's wrong? What did you see?"

"They're coming" She said. "Other Twipires are here. They heard us playing and they came to find us."

Caelan turned to Valkyrie. "Quick!" He said. "Let your hair down! Cover your neck!"

"That won't work! I could smell her from across the field!" Rita hissed, but Valkyrie did it anyway.

She started to shake and Caelan put an arm protectively around her shoulders, but that only made her nerves worse. She turned her head to the nature reserve where Skulduggery was hiding and mouthed the word _help_ to him, praying that he would see her.

From the treeline, across the other end of the playing field, three figures emerged. A tall, dark man in the middle, and blonde man and red-headed woman flanked him from either side. They walked over swiftly and gracefully, and the Sullens stood tall and proud, Caelan's protective stance over Valkyrie never faltering.

They reached them, and the tall man in the middle spoke first. "Hello. My name is Lesley, and this is my clan, John and Vicky. We heard you playing ball – thought we'd join in."

Carmichael smiled politely. "We already have enough players, but thank you for the offer."

"Oh, surely you can afford a few new opponents to play against? Even just for a few games?" He grinned. "Or are you just scared you'll lose?"

"NO!" Edgar yelled, defending his macho façade.

"Well then." Vicky said. "Let's play. I'm the one with the wicked curve-ball."

"Yeah, we'll see." Snapped Edgar.

A gust of cold wind blew across Valkyrie's face, fanning her scent over to the new Twipires and the second they inhaled it, their faces contorted in evil sneers, all their eyes on the human.

"Oh, nice." John growled. "You brought a snack!"

He lunged at Valkyrie but the sound of a snapping noise from just behind her made him freeze dead in his tracks. Valkyrie knew the sound all too well. It was the clicking of an all-too-familiar Smith and West revolver.

"Stay the fuck away from her, you glorified little blood-suckers." Said a velvety voice from behind her.

She turned and saw the Skeleton Detective behind her, gun aimed at John and she couldn't help the little whimper that escaped from her lips as she ran to him. He entwined his free arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, his gun hand not wavering.

"Hey!" Caelan snapped at them both.

Lesley stepped forward sheepishly, hands out in front of him, showing he meant no harm. "I can see that we have over-stayed our welcome. We'll leave now." He tugged at John's sleeve. "Come on, John! We're going!"

Reluctantly, John turned and followed Lesley away, Vicky trailing behind miserably. There were a few moments of horrible silence. Skulduggery still didn't put his gun away. Suddenly Caelan turned on Skulduggery.

"Hey!" He snapped. "Skeleton! What do you think you're doing, coming here, trying to steal my girl?"

"Oh, piss off, Caelan." Snarled Skulduggery. "You couldn't have saved her, even if you tried."

"I could have!"

"No you couldn't have. You're a blithering idiot. And besides, there are more important issues here."

"Oh yeah?" Hissed Caelan. "Like what?"

"I know that Twipire. He's a tracker. Once he selects his prey, he won't stop until he has killed her. Your annoyingly obvious unyielding protectiveness of Valkyrie has just made this the most exciting game to him ever! Therefore, I had to step in, and fix your mess!"

Valkyrie looked up at him. "So… he won't stop until I'm dead?"

He looked down at her, his grip on her tightening. "That's right. I'm so sorry Valkyrie."

**Hope you liked it! :)**

**xoxo**


	27. Goodbye Forks

**Enjoy, Little Sparrows!**

"Come on, Valkyrie, you're coming with me." Caelan said, gripping onto her arm and pulling her from Skulduggery.

"Uh, fuck off?" Skulduggery snapped, pulling Valkyrie back into his side.

"We need to keep her safe!" Hissed Caelan.

"No, _I _need to keep her safe. Why don't you go and eat some bunnies?"

"Stand down, Skeleton."

"Back off, Sparkles."

"Guys! Guys!" Valkyrie pulled away from the both of them. "Standing here arguing isn't going to help save my life any quicker. Those people are after me and it won't be long before they come back for me. Now, since I don't really fancy dying, why don't you both rationally tell me your ideas. Caelan, so you won't have another period over it, you first."

Caelan looked at her, irritated, but cleared his throat all the same. "Well, I propose we get you as far away from here as possible, right now."

"Idiot." Skulduggery snorted. "Valkyrie's dad isn't the type of person to just look the other way if Valkyrie runs."

"So what do you suggest?" She asked him.

"We take you home, stage a fight between you and Sparkles–"

"Stop calling me that!"

He looked over at Caelan. "Stop talking, your opinion is invalid." He looked back at Valkyrie. "So, as I was saying, you and Sparkles break up in front of your dad. You say you're moving back home with your mother. Decline any help from him. Tell him you will get a cab to the airport. If either he or your mother calls, ignore it. Then we will take you away somewhere."

"Okay." She nodded, slowly. "Okay, that sounds manageable."

"Right, so you go with Caelan–"

"What?" Valkyrie hissed. "No! I'm not leaving you!"

"This isn't negotiable. You go home with Caelan and stick to the plan. I'm going to stalk Lesley and his clan, see if I can take them down before they get to you. _Then_ I will come find you."

Valkyrie stepped up to him and stood her ground. "No."

"Yes." Skulduggery replied, equally as firmly.

"Make me."

Skulduggery sighed and looked at Caelan. "Sparkles, do me a favour and take Valkyrie away. Keep her safe. Stick to the plan."

Caelan nodded and stepped forward. He put a hand on Valkyrie's shoulder but she shrugged it off. "Go away, Caelan!"

Caelan rolled his eyes, frustrated. He stepped up to Valkyrie and lifted her, slinging her over his shoulder. He turned and carried her away while she kicked and screamed and yelled obscenities at him and Skulduggery.

Skulduggery just watched, but before Caelan was out of earshot he called, "Oh, and Caelan?"

Caelan looked over his shoulder at him. "What?"

"If you hit her again, it'll be the last thing you ever do. You understand me?"

Caelan nodded, curtly, and resumed to drag Valkyrie away.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Caelan had to practically shove Valkyrie out of the car and onto her doorstep.

"_Stop_ pushing me!" She hissed at him.

"Then cooperate!" He snapped back. "Now, come on, break up with me – and make it look believable."

"Gladly." She peered through the window and spotted her father in the living room, well within earshot. She looked back at Caelan and took a deep breath. "CAELAN! I SAID GO AWAY!" She shouted as loud as she could.

"No! Please wait!" Caelan played along too.

"NO! I HATE YOU CAELAN! WE'RE OVER! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" She drew back her hand and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. She saw the surprise and pain register on his face and suppressed a grin. "NOW GOODBYE!" She yelled before letting herself inside and slamming the door in his face.

Her dad was staring at her from where he was sitting in the living room. "What was that all about?"

"I broke up with Caelan."

"Well, yeah, I heard."

"And I have to get out of here." She added quickly before running upstairs.

Her dad only hesitated for a few moments before his brain snapped into gear and he was chasing after her. "What? Steph, wait, _what?"_

She slammed her bedroom door in his face. She turned around and saw Caelan in her room, already packing her bag for her. She shooed him away and continued to do it herself.

"Steph!" Her dad called from the other side. "Talk to me! What's going on?"

"I'm leaving!" She called back, trying to be as harsh with him as she could, but it was difficult. "I can't be here! I can't be around Caelan! I'm going _home!"_ She stuffed the last few things in her bag and opened her bedroom door. She pushed her dad out of the way and headed for the bathroom.

"But..." Her dad faltered. "But... you can't just... _leave._"

Valkyrie cleared out her section of the bathroom cabinet with her stuff in it and tipped it into her bag. "Well, I am. She said. I'll get a cab to the airport. I'll buy a cheap plane ticket home. I'll call you when I'm at mums." She made her way back downstairs.

Her dad raced after her. "But, you can't go! It's dangerous out there at night! Can't you just wait until tomorrow? If you still want to leave, then I will drive you to the airport myself!"

"No, dad!" She snapped. "I just want to leave now! I don't want to be here anymore!"

"But... I only just got you back, Steph."

Valkyrie paused at the door. She looked over her shoulder at her dad. "Just let me go, dad. I don't want to be stuck with you forever like mum was."

Her dad flinched at her words. She could have sworn she saw his eyes tear up just the slightest amount. She wanted to turn back to him more than anything and tell him that she didn't mean it – any of it, but she couldn't. She ran out of the door before she could change her mind.

**I'll update A.S.A.P.**

**xoxo**


	28. Making A Date With The Devil

**Enjoy, Little Sparrows :)**

"Please don't be sad." Caelan said, looking over at Valkyrie.

"He hates me." Valkyrie said, looking out of the car window as they sped down the motor way. "My dad hates me."

"No he doesn't. Don't be ridiculous."

"You weren't there. You didn't see his face. I said to him what my mum said when she left."

"I'm sure everything will be fi–"

"SHUT UP, CAELAN!" Valkyrie scream, finally snapping. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"!

They drove on in silence after that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Skulduggery drove back to his home in La Push. He needed to find something to help him lead the tracker and his clan away from Valkyrie. He ran inside and searched his bedroom for items of Valkyrie's clothing that she had left there. He found a pair of her underwear that she had let him steal from her, but decided that was far too intimate to be running all over town with.

He found one of her t-shirts under the bed, her hoodie in the closet, her jacket draped over the back of the chair. He found her delicate little camisole in his unmade bed sheets and his jaw clenched. He picked up the silky fabric, entertaining it between his fingers before clutching it to his chest. It still smelled of her perfume. It didn't seem long ago that she was wearing it, curled up under the duvet with him.

He folded it neatly on the end of the bed for her return. If she _did_ return. He shook his head. Of _course_ she would return – he would make sure of it. He snatched up the t-shirt, hoodie, and jacket and left to go back and find the Sullens. At the Sullen's house, Skulduggery handed the three items of clothes to Ali, Rita and Emma.

"Put them on," Skulduggery said, "and start running North. Lead the tracker away from Valkyrie – she's heading South with Caelan. Once the tracker is following you, I will stalk him from behind and try to kill him before he reaches you. Any questions? No? Great." He thumbed the safety off his gun. "Let's go."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Valkyrie and Caelan had made it down to Nashville and found a motel to stay in for the night. Valkyrie had insisted on separate rooms so that she could spend as little time with Caelan as humanly – pun not intended – possible.

He mobile rang and she looked at the dialler. All it said was _out of area_. She answered it anyway.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hello, Valkyrie." Said a gruff voice.

Valkyrie hesitated for only a second. "Who is this?"

"It's me. Your tracker."

Valkyrie felt herself pale instantly. "How did you get my number?"

"Your father was nice enough to give it to me."

"My father? What have you done with him?"

He laughed, cruelly. "Oh nothing. I just went over to visit. He's safe... for now, anyway, as long as you do exactly what I tell you."

"How did you get away from Skulduggery?" Valkyrie asked through gritted teeth. "He's following you."

"Oh no, honey, he's not following me. He's following my scapegoat. They think it's me, but it's just the others. They'll find out soon enough and come back for me. But by then it won't matter, because you'll be dead anyway. And so will daddy dearest if you don't do exactly as I say."

Valkyrie bit her lip, nervously. "I'll do anything you want, just don't hurt him."

"Good girl. Now first of all, tell me where you are."

"Nashville."

He tutted at her. "Oh, no, no, that just won't do, I'm still in Fork's Washington! Okay, listen, I'll tell you what. You get you delicious little self back up to Forks. You go to your school – it's after hours so no one will be there to catch you." He laughed. "Well, no one but me. I'll be in your English class waiting for you patiently with daddy. If you don't show... I'll just have to eat him instead. Goodbye Valkyrie. I'll see you soon."

And then he hung up.

**I'll update as soon as I can :)**

**xoxo**


	29. School Games

**Ooh! The End is near!**

**Enjoy!**

Valkyrie looked up at the school. She remembered her first day here and how it had been so daunting. How she had been terrified of the other kids and how she wouldn't 'fit in'. She was terrified of meeting her new teachers and going to her new lessons. And now, looking up at the big school, completely dead and empty – all apart from two people inside, her father and her tracker – the school was even more chilling than it had been all year.

She took a deep breath and approached the double door. She pushed them open, noticing for the first time how loudly they creaked and slipped inside the school hallway. The lights were all turned off, and the corridors looked especially eerie being completely empty.

The intercom overhead crackled into live and a gruff voice resonated through the school halls.

"Miss Cain." The voice said. "How nice of you to join us. Now the party can finally begin. If you would like to follow the trail of your father's blood that I have set out for you, you will find the classroom I am in. I'll see you in a little while."

Valkyrie's eyes widened and she looked down at the floor. Leading down the hallway was a trail of fresh blood. Valkyrie gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Before she even had time to register what she was doing, she was sprinting down the hallway, following the trail of her father's blood, it finally bringing her to the door of her English Literature class. The blind was pulled over the door so she couldn't see inside.

She took another deep breath, trying to steady her shot nerves. She reached out for the door handle and twisted it, pushing the door open. She had gone from being in fast-forward-mode, to complete and utter slow-motion. It was because she didn't want to see the scene before her. She didn't want to rush to see her possibly dying father.

She stepped inside the classroom, finally lifting the gaze from the floor and the scene before her both shocked and relieved her. Her father wasn't there. Unfortunately the tracker was – John – but her father was nowhere to be seen.

"He's not here." She said more to herself than to him.

John held up an empty hospital blood bag. "I may have told a fib or two to get you here."

"You tricked me."

"Whoopsie."

Valkyrie started to back away, but he held up a hand to her.

"Don't run." He warned her. "That would upset me, and trust me, Valkyrie, I'm not the kind of guy you'd want to upset. I bet I could run to your father's house and snap his neck and come back for you before you even reach the front doors."

"So now what happens?" Valkyrie asked, bitterly. "You're going to torture me? Drink my blood? Kill me?"

"Pretty much."

"Do your worst."

John smiled. "You really shouldn't have said that."

In the blink of an eye he had crossed the room to Valkyrie. He grabbed her by the throat and threw across the open space, sending her crashing into the far wall. She fell to the floor lifelessly, groaning as her bones cracked sickeningly. John simply grinned and ran at her again, lashing a vicious kick into her side, making her scream. He raised one leg and brought it crashing down onto her shin bone, making it snap, revelling in delight at her agonised cries of pain.

"Poor thing." John said, mock-sympathetically, kneeling beside her. "Where's your little Skeleton Detective to save you now?"

There was the sound of a gun snapping from behind them. A velvety voice said, "Speak of the devil."

John growled but didn't look back at Skulduggery. "Oh goodie. _You're_ here. Now the party can _really_ start."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"What's your point?"

Skulduggery shrugged. "No point in particular. Just making small talk, really."

This time John looked back over his shoulder at Skulduggery. "Small talk? Small talk for what?"

"Small talk before I kill you, naturally."

John laughed. "Naturally."

He stood up, grabbing a fistful of Valkyrie's hair, pulling her up with him. She yelped, painfully, breaking down into quiet sobs. Skulduggery reflexively took a step forward, his gun hand almost faltering at the sound of Valkyrie's cries, but he quickly regained his previous stance, aiming the revolver straight at John's heart.

"What's the matter, Detective?" Asked John. "Does it bother you when I hurt the girl? Oh... oh, I am _so_ sorry! I had no idea!"

"Enough games." Skulduggery said in a firm voice. "Hand Valkyrie over right this second and I promise I won't shoot you... straight away."

"Tempting... but no. I have much bigger plans for this lovely little lady here."

"If you're planning on drinking her blood, well, you've got another thing coming."

John grinned, showing his fangs. "Not quite."

Before Skulduggery could stop him, John was sinking his fangs into Valkyrie forearm, making a raw, animalistic scream rip from her throat.

"NO!" Skulduggery roared.

He lurched forward and grabbed John by the shoulders and ripped him away from Valkyrie, who fell to the floor, her body in spasms. Skulduggery shot the vampire straight in the heart, quickly proceeding to grab his head with both hands and, snapping it 180 degrees with such strength, he was able to rip his head from his body. He let the head and torso fall to the ground before getting out a lighter from his jacket pocket and setting fire to the corpse to fully kill it.

It was Valkyrie's scream of agony that brought him running back to her side. He kneeled beside her convulsing body and took her arm in his hands, examining the bite. She was turning into a vampire.

Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie's pleading expression and a wave of helplessness washed over him. "I don't know how to save you." He whispered. "I'm so sorry, Val, I don't know what to do."

Caelan Sullen burst into the classroom. "But _I_ do."

**Not much to go now! Anyone think they know how it's going to end? ;)**

**xoxo**


	30. Burning To Dust

**Time for another update!**

**Enjoy!**

"God dammit, Caelan!" Skulduggery growled. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm here to save my one true love!" Caelan announced.

"I'm very flattered, but what about Valkyrie?"

Caelan completely missed the snide remark. "I meant Valkyrie." He stated, dumbly.

Skulduggery growled in frustration. "Look, Caelan, can you save her or not? Because if you can't, get the hell out of here!"

Caelan strolled over to Skulduggery with what he probably hoped looked like great purpose. "I can save her. I shall suck the poison out of her myself, cleaning her blood before she turns. It shall be a struggle and I don't know if I will be able to stop, but I know I must, for I cannot kill her – I love her too much."

Skulduggery paused. "So that's it then, is it, Sparkles? That's your big plan?"

"Yes."

"So that's what it comes down to? A melodramatic scene when you have to struggle against the supposed monster within you and your believed feelings for the human girl in an epic climax where you have to fight for your humanity?" Skulduggery paused again. "No, of course, how silly of me. No one could have seen that coming from a mile off. Very well, Sparkles do your thing and do it quickly."

Caelan nodded and kneeled beside Skulduggery. He took Valkyrie's bitten arm in his hands. "I'm going to save you, Valkyrie." He said in a hushed, dramatic tone. "I'm going to make the pain go away."

"Only drink enough blood to suck the poison from her. If you even so much as _think_ about going all the way, I'll shove a god damned curling iron up your arse." Skulduggery warned.

"How quaint." Caelan sneered before bowing his head to the bite wound on Valkyrie's arm, and started sucking on her skin.

After a couple of minutes, Valkyrie's convulsions lessened. Her breathing became calmer and her moans of agony had almost stopped. Her eyelids fluttered as she became weak from the lack of blood.

"Okay, Sparkles, you can stop now, I think she's clean." Skulduggery said.

But Caelan didn't stop.

"Caelan, I said stop! You're going to suck her dry!"

Still, Caelan didn't stop.

"CAELAN!" Skulduggery roared. He grabbed the vampire by the shoulders and wrenched him off Valkyrie. Skulduggery threw Caelan back against the wall. "ENOUGH!"

Caelan growled and lunged for Valkyrie, but Skulduggery caught him and threw him against the wall again, pinning him there.

"LET ME GO!" Growled Caelan. "LET ME FINISH HER OFF!"

"CAELAN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Skulduggery snarled in his face. "I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU! YOU'RE _NEVER_ IN CONTROL OF YOUR BLOODLUST!"

"LET ME AT HER!"

"GO TO HELL, YOU PATHETIC EXCISE FOR A VAMPIRE!" Skulduggery drew back a fist and punched Caelan square in the face. "THAT WAS FOR HITTING MY GIRLFRIEND!" He punched him again, even harder. "THAT WAS FOR TRYING TO KILL HER! AND THIS, CAELAN, _THIS_, IS FOR _PISSING ME OFF!"_

Skulduggery grabbed Caelan's head either side and wrenched it 180 degrees, making his neck give out a sickening crack. He felt Caelan go limp and he let his body drop to the ground. Skulduggery got out his lighter from before and used it to torch Caelan's body, feeling no remorse as the Vampire burned away to dust.

"Skulduggery..." Valkyrie croaked, weakly.

He was at her side in an instant, scooping her up into his arms carefully, cradling her against his chest. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here."

"I hurt." She murmured. "Everything hurts."

"It's okay, I'm going to take you to the hospital, and you're going to be fine."

When she didn't reply he looked down at her to see that she had blacked out in his arms.

**Ah! The end is nigh! ... is that how you spell it?**

**Anyway, I'll update A.S.A.P.**

**I less than three you all!**

**xoxo**


	31. Waking Up

**We are nearing the end!**

**Enjoy it while it lasts!**

Valkyrie's eyelids fluttered open and before she could even register that someone was standing over her, she was pulled into a tight embrace. She would have been alarmed if it wasn't for the smell of her mother's perfume that filled her nostrils.

"Mum?" Valkyrie croaked.

Her mother pulled away so that she could look Valkyrie in the eye. "Oh, my poor baby!"

"Mum, what are you doing here?"

"I was on the first flight over here as soon as I heard about the accident."

"Accident?" Valkyrie echoed. She looked down at her body and saw she was lying in a hospital bed. Looking around herself she could see she was in a private hospital room.

Valkyrie's mother's eyes swam with tears. "Oh, you don't remember, do you, darling?"

"Not exactly." Valkyrie murmured, touching her face, feeling the tubes that were sticking out of her nose.

"You were in a car crash, when you were driving back to the airport to come home. Something must have run out at you because you swerved off the road into a ditch. You rolled at least four times before you came to a stop. You've got a broken leg and a nasty wound on your arm, and you've lost a lot of blood, but thank _God_ that is all."

Valkyrie forced a smile. _I wonder who made up _that_ story! _"I must be lucky." Suddenly a thought hit her. "Wait... _wait!_ Where is Skulduggery? Is he okay? Where is he?"

"Shh, Steph, shh!" her mother soothed. "It's okay! He's right over there." She stepped out of the way to allow Valkyrie to see Skulduggery supposedly asleep in a chair in the corner of the room – facade of black hair and green eyes on. Her mother smiled at her. "He never leaves. He must really have a thing for you."

Valkyrie felt herself blush. "Yeah, well, can you blame him? Look at me, mum, I make even a _hospital gown_ look glamorous."

Her mother tilted back her head and laughed. "Well I'm glad to see you're feeling better."

"I feel fine, mum. Barely a scratch on me. You know, apart from the broken leg."

"And the best part is, when you get better and are well enough to travel, you can come back home again!"

Valkyrie saw Skulduggery go rigid at the words out of the corner of her eye, but her mother didn't seem to notice.

"Whoa, mum, whoa." Valkyrie said, slowly. "That's something that I'm not altogether sure on..."

Her mother frowned, slightly. "But, honey, I thought you _wanted_ to come back home? That's what your father said."

"Well I was wrong. I don't want to come back home. I mean, I miss you and everyone else like crazy, but _wow_ am I not ready to leave Forks yet. I'm really sorry, mum."

"You want to stay in _Forks?"_

"I've grown attached to this place." Valkyrie said, defensively.

Her mother raised an eyebrow at her. "Or grown attached to some_one_."

Valkyrie blushed again. "Maybe."

Her mother smiled. "Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart." She leaned forward and kissed Valkyrie's forehead. "I better go tell your father you awake – he's been worried sick!"

She left the room, and the moment the door shut behind her, Skulduggery was at Valkyrie's side, pulling her into a gentle, yet fiercely protective hug. "Don't you ever scare me like that again." He murmured into her tangled hair.

She laughed, quietly. "Sorry, I'll try to wake up sooner in the future."

He pulled away and looked at her. "You _know_ that's not what I meant. Valkyrie how _could_ you run away like that and put yourself in so much danger?"

"I thought he had my dad. I thought he was going to kill him. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to call me for backup before you went running in there defenceless."

Valkyrie sighed and looked down at her lap. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I could have lost you today." He said quietly. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you for good." He took a long pause. "Which is why you've got to leave, Val."

Valkyrie looked up at him, somewhat in horror. "_What?"_

"You have to go back to Ireland with your mother, Valkyrie. It's not safe for you here."

"Since when was it _ever_ safe for me back in _Ireland?"_

"Valkyrie, please–"

"NO!" She shouted. "NO! NO, I'M NOT GOING BACK AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU! I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT TO ME? YOU KNOW I CAN'T BE AWAY FROM YOU, OKAY, I JUST CANT–"

Skulduggery sat down on the bed beside her, He put his hands on her shoulders and gently guided her backwards so she was lying down again. "Shh, shh, relax!"

"HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN YOU'RE SAYING THINGS TO ME LIKE THAT?"

"Valkyrie, calm down." He said, soothingly. "If you really don't want to go back, I won't make you."

Valkyrie faltered, blinking rapidly. "You... you won't?"

"Of course not. I'd rather you stay as far away from the danger here as possible, but if this is what you really want..."

"It is."

"Then you shall stay."

She couldn't hold it back any longer. The floodgates opened and Valkyrie burst into tears. Skulduggery was clutching her to his chest in an instant, murmuring comforts to her, stroking his fingers through her hair."

"It's okay, Val, it's okay. It's all over now, you're safe."

"I'm such an idiot." She sobbed helplessly into his shoulder.

"No you're not, you're just in shock."

"I just love you so much."

He felt something tug at his imaginary heartstrings and he kissed her hair. "I love you too."

"Don't ever leave me."

"I promise."

Their lips found each other's and parted deepening the kiss that was only just the start of a new beginning together.

**Just one more happy ending chapter to go! :)**

**xoxo**


	32. Prom Night

**Here we are my Little Sparrows! The last chapter of The Twisul Saga! I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it :) Thank you so much for all your support, to all the Valduggery supporters out there, to all those who reviewd my sory, and to those who favourited and alerted it and me. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it - I love each and every one of you :)**

**Enjoy the last chapter - Prom Night :)**

"You haven't touched your drink." Valkyrie's dad noted.

Skulduggery looked at him from where he was sitting across the kitchen table. He looked down at the full glass of water in his hands and smiled awkwardly, offering nothing to say. Skulduggery was wearing the same facade he was wearing at the hospital so as to not confuse Valkyrie's parents, with his sparkling green eyes and sleek black hair. His black tuxedo he was wearing was not short of being absolutely stunning.

There was a thunk on the landing above them, and both men were standing instantly, racing to the bottom of the stairs. Both of their jaws dropped when they saw her. She was wearing a long midnight blue prom dress that came in across her torso as a corset, fanning out at her hips in ruffles that continued all the way down to the ground. Her dark hair was pulled back elegantly into a French pleat with a few loose curls hanging down to frame her beautiful face. Her arms were decorated with delicate silver bracelets, and she was wearing a pair of diamond earrings, but her slender neck was bare. Her makeup was stunning with smoky eyes and glossed lips. She began to descend the staircase, smiling at them both.

Valkyrie spoke once she had reached the bottom. "How do I look?"

"Gorgeous." Skulduggery breathed.

"Far too old to be my little girl." Her Dad smiled.

"How's the leg?" Asked Skulduggery.

Valkyrie hitched up the hem of her skirt revealing the huge cast on her leg before letting it drop again. She shrugged, "I can't complain."

Skulduggery held his arm out for her. "We should get going, are you ready?"

She took his arm. "Of course." She looked back at her dad. "Don't wait up."

Skulduggery looked back at Desmond. "I'll keep her safe."

Desmond nodded. "Mm-hm, I've heard that one before."

Skulduggery led Valkyrie outside and over to the Bentley, helping her inside. He got in the driver's side and, checking that her dad wasn't watching through the window, he leaned in to kiss her.

"You look so beautiful tonight." He whispered against her lips.

She smiled. "Thank you."

He pulled away to look at her, one of his hands cupping her face. "I have a little present for you."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes, but first you have to close your eyes."

Valkyrie closed her eyes, and Skulduggery waved a hand in front of her face to make sure she wasn't peeking. Once satisfied she couldn't see he reached inside his tux pocket and pulled out a small, thin jewellery box. He put it in her hands.

"Open your eyes." He whispered.

Valkyrie saw the Tiffanies box in her hands and she beamed at him. "You _didn't!"_

He grinned at her. "Open it."

She opened the little box and gasped at the beautiful diamond choker that was looking up at her. "Oh... Skulduggery..."

"Do you like it?" He asked, anxiously.

"Skulduggery... I _love_ it."

"Really?"

She looked at him, grinning. "Really _really_."

He took the choker from the box and leaned closer to her so he could fasten it around her neck. He sat back and whistled in a low tone. "Stunning."

She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Skulduggery, thank you so much. For everything you've done for me."

"No thanks is needed." He squeezed her hand gently. "Now let's get going. It's about time you showed everyone else at this prom how to _really_ pull of a gown like that."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Bentley rolled up in the school parking lot and Skulduggery helped Valkyrie out before locking up the doors. He put an arm around her waist and held her close as he led her towards the building.

Valkyrie looked up the huge school. "The last time I was here..."

"Don't think about it." He said, reassuringly. "Tonight is _your_ night, and you're going to have a great time."

She looked up at him. "Thank you."

He planted a soft kiss upon her lips. "You're more than welcome."

She laughed at him. "You've got my lip gloss on your lips."

"Really? Is it my shade?"

Laughing she wiped it off with her thumb. "There, that's better."

"Wonderful! Are you ready to go inside now?"

"Naturally."

He held out his arm for her again, and she took it. He led her inside, and they were hit instantly by loud music, strobe lighting, and partying teenagers.

"Good _God_." Skulduggery mumbled.

Valkyrie looked up at him. "What's wrong?"

"I feel... old."

Valkyrie laughed. "It's not _all_ like this. It's quieter outside in the quad."

"Do you mind if we go out there?"

"Of course not."

Valkyrie led Skulduggery out through the back where a few gazebos were set out in the quad. Soft music was playing out here and it suited them both a lot better. One gazebo was empty and they made their way towards it.

Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie, smiling. "May I have this dance?"

She laughed. "I can't dance – my leg is in a cast, remember?"

He pulled her close, lifting her slightly and placing her back down so she was standing on his feet. "No, but I can."

She grinned at him. "I like this idea."

Together – with effort only being put in by Skulduggery – they began to waltz elegantly around the gazebo.

"See?" Skulduggery smiled down at her. "You're dancing."

"I'm _cheating_." She corrected.

"You're still dancing nonetheless."

Valkyrie sighed happily and rested her head against his shoulder. "I don't think I could actually be any happier right now."

"Valkyrie Cain, I am going to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you deserve to be."

"And I am going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you – skeleton and all."

He smiled softly at her, their dancing slowing. "I couldn't be more in love with you if I tried."

"I know the feeling." She murmured, tiptoeing up to kiss him.

Their lips met tenderly, taking the time to caress each other. Nothing mattered anymore. Not Caelan or the Sullens. Not John and his clan. Not Fletcher and Melancholia and their stupid bet. All that mattered was that Skulduggery and Valkyrie were finally together in the way they had always wanted to be. And of course, that was all that ever mattered.

**Thank you again for everything, my Little Sparrows!**

**Much love and hugs to you all :')**

**~ Sabrina Sparrow**

**xoxo**


End file.
